Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Fragrance (10/24/05)
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TITLE: Coffee! | Previous Challenge Entry
By Debbie Roppolo
10/27/05 -
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I've never been a morning person, and my family wisely avoids me like the plague until they see me in a state of caffeine-induced bliss. A few months ago, a phone solicitor unwisely called the house at 8 A.M. on a Saturday. Not only had I not had my coffee, but the obnoxious ringing of the phone awakened me from a peaceful slumber.
Grumbling to myself, I slunk out of the bed and trudged down the hall. As I passed the office, I heard my husband, John, talking in an angry whisper.
”I'm not interested." John hissed. "Wait, I'm rude? No, I don't think you want to talk to my wife; she just woke up."
This is ridiculous. John's being too nice to this creep, I thought. Wordlessly, I walked into the office and motioned to John for the phone. He smirked as he handed me the receiver.
"Yes, this is his wife," I said. I waited patiently until the solicitor said his spiel, then I unloaded on him. I was angry that he was so inconsiderate and disrespectful to my hubby. By the time I was through, the guy was actually whimpering like a whipped dog.
This morning, before my coffee was ready, I called the vet to get my dog spayed. The vet tech answered on a cell phone and the reception was lousy, thus making it hard to hear. I asked about the cost of spaying, and was appalled at the cost.
"Seventy-six dollars?" I yelped into the phone.
"No, thirty-six dollars," Tech replied, somewhat impatiently. I was relieved. "Now, is your animal a dog or a cat?" she asked in a monotone voice. Maybe it was the lack of caffeine, but I had no idea what she meant.
"I-I'm sorry," I stammered. She sighed deeply and repeated the question. The light bulb finally clicked on in my head.
"Oh, a dog." I said proudly. A few minutes later, the tech hung up without saying "good-bye."
"Hmm. She must have not had any coffee either," I mused aloud. Yeah right; she just got through dealing with what I'm sure she thought was a total idiot.
Today, the family and I were talking about my mother's recovering from heart surgery at our house. A few minutes later, we started talking about the dog's surgery.
"The night before the surgery we need to put her collar on and tie her up." I told John.
"She's just to start hollering and wake the neighbors up," John pointed out. "I say we just put her in the garage."
"And what if she makes a mess? You know how she loves magazines, and you have a stack of them in the garage."
"Easy, we just whack her with a newspaper. Speaking of messes . . . if she has an accident in the garage, I'll have to rub her nose in it." John said matter-of-factly. "That's how people used to do it."
I shook my head. "I can't do that; it's too cruel."
"Have it your way; she's your responsibility."
Evidently, Seth was unaware that the subject had changed from his grandmother to the dog. He stared at us in disbelief. "You are the cruelest people I've ever known. How could you put my granny in the garage?" I stared at Seth a few seconds before it dawned on me what he meant. I got a case of the giggles, and collapsed on the floor laughing.
"Seth, baby," I gasped, "we're not talking about Granny. We're talking about the dog."
"Oh leave me alone," he grumbled as he stalked out of the room. "I didn't have any caffeine today."
Ah yes . . . "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree," I thought. Before too long the fragrance of coffee brewing will serve as an alert to my son that coffee is on the way
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blessings - dub