The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Nice story, but I was distracted by it's wordiness. Real people don't speak like this.
I agree that your language here was very poetic, making this read more like a dramatic reading than a story. I think you could take the paragraph that begins "There are 3 little things in the world..." and make it into a wonderful patriotic poem.
There are many mothers out there who need to read this article. Their sons and daughters have gone off to war- some never to return. What anguish this causes in the hearts of those who love their children and want what's best for their country. Thanks for sharing. I agree- this article could be turned into an awesome poem:)