Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Communication Breakdown (12/16/10)
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TITLE: When Did We Stop Talking? | Previous Challenge Entry
By Jan Christiansen
12/17/10 -
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He’s always been a quiet man, happy just to go to work, come home and eat dinner, play with the dogs for a bit, then watch TV until he falls asleep on the sofa. I usually wake him at 10:00 pm to go to bed.
All the years I worked outside the home it didn’t seem to matter. I had plenty of people to talk to all day, but now that I’ve been retired for a couple of years it matters more than I can say.
I’m feeling useless, purposeless and lonely. I’m afraid that God may be disappointed with me because of certain habits that I’ve never been able to break. I wonder if God is through with me or if my dreams will ever come true.
There’s been so much on my mind lately that I thought it would be good to discuss it with my husband of 30 plus years.
Last night I tried.
He came home, sat down beside me on the sofa and said, “How was your day?”
So, I told him. It took just three minutes to spill out all the crazy thoughts and insecurities that were going through my head. I took a deep breath and waited for his response. I didn’t even dare to look at him because I was embarrassed about most of what I had just said.
He remained silent. He does that sometimes when he’s thinking about how to respond. I gave him time to think.
Finally, when five minutes had passed, I dared a glance sideways, afraid that I had just convinced him that I am on the edge of insanity and that he was too stunned to know what to say.
He was sleeping. Yes, I’m serious – he was asleep!
Tears welled up in my eyes and a lump formed in my throat. I so desperately wanted him to take me in his arms and tell me that he loves me I wanted him to tell me that God loves me and isn’t disappointed in me…that He still has great things ahead for me.
My husband is a good man I tell myself. He’s a quiet but caring man.
Still…I don’t know when we stopped talking.
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I think after many years of marriage we can all get into a comfortable feeling with each other. It's not that we don't love, it's just you lose something by being comfortable and predictable.
I've heard it said that you should date your wife often. Take her to interesting places. Do things out of the ordinary. Be a knight in shining Armour and save her from the dragon of the mundane. Thanks for writing.
Very poignant and sad. Great writing!
This easily could have been written by me. Thank you for letting me know I'm not alone and that marriage takes hard work.