The Official Writing Challenge
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I thought that this was a clever take on the topic and I couldn't identify with the pain felt by the author. I'm sorry to say that you lost me in your final paragraph. I completely missed the relevance of the seersucker suit.
Fun, fun, fun entry! Love the title, and loved the ending. It would appear that the author was either chanelling Tallulah, and/or was chanelling one of her suitors. (I assume that seersucker suits were common back in the day in the south?) Too funny!