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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Snap (09/04/08)
The heaving shoulders of the 291-pound figure kept rhythm with the sobs echoing off the deserted lockers. The massive frame slumped on the bench holding his tear-streaked face with his incompetent hands. It was a routine snap. He had made thousands of them in his career, but not this one.

The announcer’s call haunted him as an incessant reminder of failure.

One more kneel down should wrap up the Comets first Bowl victory in school history. Harris lines up under Jacobson. There’s the snap– Wait! It’s a fumble. The ball’s kicked around. Jansen picks it up with nothing but green in front of him. This is unbelievable! He’s at the thirty…he’s at the 20…he’s at the 10…TOUCHDOWN! The Cougars upset the Comets in a last second thriller.

The All-Conference center knew the importance of the snap. His high school coach beat that into his head.

Jacobson, as center, you are the ignition of this offense. If you muff the snap, the offense can’t even get started. It all starts with you, son. The exchange between you and the quarterback is most important. Got it?

Those words now beat him like a billy club. Everything was ruined. Todd picked up a black velvet case resting next to him on the bench and carefully pried open the lid. The dreary lighting still managed to dance off the faces of the one-karat diamond inside. Todd had planned on proposing to Sara after the game, but he couldn’t face her now. How could he? His hall of shame performance probably ruined any chance of him being drafted.

A knock on the locker room door jerked Todd’s head to the side; he snapped the case shut and closed his hand. A captivating brunette with deep brown eyes and a slender build crept through the doorway. Her smile unveiled the love and compassion welling within her for this dejected form.

"Todd," Sara said softly, "your coach said I could come in. How are you doing?" She eased down next to him on the bench and began caressing his left shoulder with her tender hand.

Todd hung his head once again. "Coach Miller use to tell me, ‘the exchange between the quarterback and the center is most important.’ And I blew it. I’m so sorry, Sara. I’ve ruined everything. "

"No you haven’t, Todd. You did your best. The team would have never made it this far if it wasn’t for you."

"It’s not just the game. It’s our future. I ruined it."

"What are you saying?"

"I wanted to provide a great life for you, Sara. And now- now… I don’t know."

Todd wanted to cry, but the tears had run dry. He fixed his eyes on the floor and clenched his right hand.

"Todd, what’s in your hand?" Sara asked.

Todd slipped his hand to his side and said, "It’s nothing, Sara. Don’t worry about it."

Sara however persisted, "Todd, I know you’re hiding something. Please, show me what it is."

The beaten down warrior had no energy to resist and conceded to her plea. He raised his hand and revealed the velvet case. Sara’s eyes widened and her face flushed with excitement. "What is this?" she asked.

"I wanted to propose to you, Sara. But I don’t know how, now that I’ve ruined everything. I doubt I’ll make it to the NFL. Teams want players who step up in big games, not ones who fall apart."

Sara opened the case and her heart raced as she gazed at the beautiful symbol of his love. "Todd," she gently placed her hand on his cheek and turned his face toward her, "it doesn’t matter to me whether you play another football game in your life. I love you because of you, not what you do. I would love to be your wife if you’re willing to make that proposal."

Todd looked into her hope filled eyes and felt a smile creeping over his face. He took the case from Sara’s hand, lifted the ring from its silk bed, and cradled her hand in his. Then, with the ring readied for placement, he asked, "Sara, will you marry me?"

"I will!"

Todd slipped the ring on her finger; Sara wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her lips against his to seal the engagement. Then, with a momentary release of their lips’ embrace, she whispered, "Nothing against Coach Miller, but this exchange is most important. And you executed it perfectly."
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This article has been read 1169 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Beth LaBuff
09/12/08
How many times have we seen "this game" that leaves heart-ache for one team and joy for the other. You've described the emotions perfectly. I love your ending with its tie-in to football. Great title, too.
Jan Christiansen
09/15/08
Love this story! It read smoothly all the way through, held my attention and kept me pushing forward for the finish. Great use of the topic. Thanks for sharing your talent!
Celeste Ammirata
09/15/08
Very nice take on the topic. Sara is one wise woman! And God Bless Todd for not letting his disappoint take over the moment. Great job.
Leah Nichols 
09/16/08
I like a good romance....great job on this one!
Shelley Ledfors
09/16/08
Wonderful story! I was right there with you for every word. Well done.
Kristen Hester
09/16/08
Okay, this is my favorite SNAP story that I've read so far! As a Texas gal and a football fan, this was so beleivable. This is the first football snap story I've read. I loved the description of the football player crying in the locker room at the beginning. The story flowed smoothly and was easy to follow, even with the thoughts and flashbacks. I really loved the ending, with her words tying it back to the snap. Perfect! (I aslo LOVE romances, so this really ranks high with me.)
Sharlyn Guthrie
09/17/08
I love a good romance, and this one qualifies! The last liine is perfect.
Joy Faire Stewart
09/17/08
The descriptions are so vivid, I could see the game and feel the emotions throughout. I especially like the phrase, "The beaten down warrior..." Very well written and excellent job with the topic.
LauraLee Shaw
09/17/08
Oh, now THAT is a great ending. Applause from me. Original take on the topic as well. Excellent!
Tiffanie Chezum
09/17/08
Very well done ... a great read. Thanks for sharing
Karlene Jacobsen 
09/18/08
First attempt? Nice job!
Joshua Janoski
09/18/08
Your first attempt at a romantic piece was a definite TOUCHDOWN! Great job! :)
Joy Faire Stewart
09/18/08
Congratulations on your win. This is one of my favority entries this week. Love your smooth writing style.
M. R. Davenport
09/19/08
Best one this week. Real life writing. We could use him on the west coast...
Charla Diehl
09/23/08
Since I'm not a sports follower, not sure what the "snap" was but I truly enjoyed the story. I could feel Todd's emotions and was so happy that this ended on a high note. Great writing and loved the MC. Congrats on your placement.