The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/29/08
I like this story. You kept my attention through to the end. All turned out well for both child and parents in God's perfect timing. Very well done. Thanks for this piece.
08/29/08
Some great examples of "showing, not telling" in this story.

Nitpick: "lightened" instead of "lighten".

Wonderful happy ending--I loved it.
08/30/08
great story.
09/04/08
Your beautiful story left me with a lump in my throat, so happy for them and sad too for what this little girl had experienced. You did a wonderul job of introducing us to the hearts of your characters.