The Official Writing Challenge
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This is very interesting. It kept my attention the entire time. I wondered how the MC could be so easily fooled by Gloria. I am glad her husband stopped her and helped her see the truth. Good job!

At first I thought the sentences were too short and choppy, but when I got into it (and that didn't take long), I found the writing echoing the shallow happiness and focus the MC was experiencing. Brilliant! Her turnaround may have been too instantaneous for me, but otherwise, I loved the story and the message. Good job!! :)
This is a nice twist on the topic. I became absorbed in the story and the characters. I also wondered, at first, how the main character could be so blind to the shallow Gloria. But after a sentence or two, I just went with the flow of the story. Very unique!
I really enjoyed your story. Seeing the nonsense the MC and Gloria churned out actually made me laugh--mainly because I've heard people express similar sentiments before with a straight face, even if they didn't say them in such an obvious fashion. I'm glad your story pointed to where our focus should be.
At first I wondered how Marla could be so naive. Then I saw myself in her. Thanks for reminding us of how sneaky and cunning the devil can be. Great story. Great message.