The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 981 times
Member Comments
I felt the tension in the begin, fearing it would be a scary story (not my thing). In the lab I felt as though I had entered a James Bond movie! This was full of surprises and a fun adventure. Angel :)
Way to throw a surprise ending at us! I sure didn't see that coming--what fun!
Oooooo! I love underwater scifi! And this one did not dissappoint! (I wish it were true!) ;)

Good action and emotion. I really enjoyed this!
Ooooo, too cool. Great story. I got a little confused because I thought the other divers were coming out of the doors, and then they showed up inside them later, but I was probably just reading too fast. Otherwise a great job and great discription.
Good descriptions. I felt like I was underwater with them, running out of breath. You put us there, right behind Charlie's heel that Sonya grabs. You had to love the top secret project! Is it too early to place an order? Great writing! Keep up the good work!
What a fun story! Great ending.
Loved the ending, and I wouldn't mind checking out some of their formula. LOL.
Wow - this is cool - and begs to have more!
I love a surprise ending and this is great! Definiely a Sci Fi thriller. Very well done!
I'm guessing you have a waiting list for this experiment! This is an excellent scifi story.
Where do you get ideas for a story like this? Very clever and creative and your powers of description make it easy to get caught up in the progression of the story. It would be fun to see this done with illustrations---I'd opt for watercolor medium!
oh wow! Lots of surprising twists here! I feel as if there is not enough room to tell a story that obviously has a lot more to it! I like the thought of hunting for giant sea snails and definitely didn't see the ending coming. Good elements of surprise and very vivid descriptions. My only note, is that the 'pretty young lady' is barely mentioned, yet at the end, we discover that she is the result of a working anti-aging forumla. Good suspense and creativity, you kept me reading. ^_^
What an excellent story! It was fun and intriguing to read. Great descriptions, I felt I was right there. And the dialogue was really good, fit in well and added to the story. Of course, that surprise ending was perfect.
Awesome story, awesome writing! Enjoyed this alot!!
Liked the story a lot. A touch of suspense and the iteresting twist at the end. That was really good. I wonder if a few more exclamation marks could be used in the dialogues? Adds a bit more emphasis and drama. Would you agree? I know I overdo it sometimes!!!!!!!!
Beyond Kool, entertaining and well written.
God bless.
I felt like I was watching a movie - your writing made the story come alive. I got excited and read too fast - I had to go back and find the description of Dr. Whitmore. :) Good job!
Really clever and creative story! I loved the descriptiveness of your underwater paragraphs, and the whole piece was very entertaining! I assume the sharks had something to do with the anti-aging formula, too! Good job! :)