The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
12/14/06
This is delightful! And as someone once said, I think this hero "protesteth too much" — if he isn't Sally Jean's boyfriend now, he soon will be! One little thing that someone else corrected me on a few Challenges ago - "do" should probably be "doo" in this case. This is great writing.
12/15/06
I loved this. Very good job. I also think the boy will end up with the girl. Just the romantic in me, I guess. Super read. God bless.
Loved your description of Sally Jean. Watch out for those mousey ones. One kiss and they turn into princesses.
12/15/06
I absolutely love the voice in this piece. Excellent writing and story-telling. Simply superb!
12/15/06
This was great! I laughed so hard at the ending that I choked a bit. The voice and timing of this piece was perfect. Super job!
12/15/06
Great descriptions & analogies(i.e. "like a stuffed turkey")!
A delightful story. I'm guessing he'll marry her someday!
Cute - too cute!! Nice voice throughout. Believable, too.

This line is a gem: "As I wandered through the door, the words I’d prepared stuck in my throat like Aunt Sarah’s overcooked turkey dinner."
12/19/06
I just LOVE the voice in this story! Masterful!
12/20/06
Very authentic voice here. I love the way this story plays out and I agree that this guy is going to end up with Sally Jean soon enough. Ah, young love. This is a special one; it made me smile this morning!
I felt a myriad of emotions while reading this. Apprehension, and happiness were among them.
Not his grirlfriend, huh? Sure...
Thanks for this.
12/20/06
I liked the fact that he didn't rush in there at first, knowing he'd get beat up. Very realistic. Yet, when he saw what was happening, he forgot his fear. Would rather have his parents think he got in a fight - what a typical young teen. LOL Great story.
12/20/06
Wonderful... and he doth protesteth too much... Sung he will be. Right down the aisle. Well done!!