The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Aww, what a sweet story. The reaction of the younger girl to the older one was quite believable, as was the dialogue. Well done.
12/01/06
Wonderful - great dialogue. This gets my vote.
12/02/06
The dialogue sounded so authentic. Very nice!
You almost made me cry at work. Great story, wonderful lesson about God using us when we're obedient, even if we don't want to be there.
12/04/06
This was great! I hope it's on the list (next to mine :-) ). The dialogue is very believable and is what makes this story work.
Obligatory suggestion: additional description would help paint the scene. Not sure how old Lila is... 16? 12? This type of detail might add and might not--just a point to consider.
Excellent entry!
I was attracted to read this by the title ... and I'm glad I did!! It was a very convincing, realistic, and sweet story. If it was the start to a longer story, I would know that it was a novel I would enjoy sitting down and reading. Good writing.