The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Oh WOW. I am completely shocked that this doesn't have more comments. This was EXTREMELY intense and captivating and amazingly well-written. I caught a few sentence fragments near the top, but once I got into this, I could focus on nothing else but the amazing story.
This was excellent. As has been said, this was very intense, and kept me reading until the very end.
This was a very good story. It is a thought worth repeating to ourselves from time to time: people disappoint, but God doesn't. So many times we put our hope, faith and trust in people. Even the ones we love the most and whom love us the most disappoint us from time to time...because we're all human. It's a good drill to remind ourselves not to make an idol out of anyone. I'm not sure about your ending, "Lit up, of course, by the light of the moon." It confused me and made me go back to the first sentence to see the relation. I'm not sure it deserves highlighting, but that's just my personal thought...and I could be....all wet! You have real writing talent and have a message here that needs to be heard.
Beautiful. So good. No more words for this awesome story.