Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Doctor/Nurse (11/02/06)
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TITLE: But, I don�t wanna go! | Previous Challenge Entry
By Shari Armstrong
11/08/06 -
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“I know, dear, but sometimes we need to go.”
He sighed. “But, if God can heal, why should I bother?”
“Sometimes God uses doctors. Luke was a doctor and He was one of Jesus’ twelve. You know that.”
He crossed his arms and pouted. “I know, I know. I just don’t have to like it.”
“Nobody likes being sick. I’ll go warm up the car and be back to get you.” She kissed his forehead. “Be ready when I get back. Your shoes are right there.”
He swung his legs over the edge of the bed.
His voice followed her down the hallway, “I’m feeling better. Really. This is just silly.”
“We’re going anyway,” She called back as she closed the door to the garage.
He eased himself up on the exam table, and waited for the doctor. Surprisingly, the doctor entered almost as soon as we did.
“Hello, doctor.” She took a seat in the corner.
“So, how are we today?”
"We? Don’t know about you, but I’m doing fine. But, she won’t believe me.”
The doctor began checking lungs and heart. “Breath.” He moved to another spot on the back. “Again.”
“Well?” He looked expectantly at the doctor.
"Well, I’m not sure.” He grabbed a pad off his desk. “Go down the hall to 137 and give them this slip. I want to run a couple tests. Just an EKG and a CAT. Come back here when they finish”
She offered up a silent prayer. “Is there anything wrong?”
The doctor shook his head. “I just want to confirm something.”
They sat in the room, praying quietly together. A soft knocking on the door interrupted them.
“Well, I have your results.” The doctor sat on the stool and wheeled over closer to the couple. “Based on what I’m seeing here, it’s almost as if nothing were ever wrong with your heart.”
“Really?” She let out the breath she’d been holding.
He simply smiled at his wife. “See? I told you I was fine.”
“Mr. Johnson, I have no idea what happened. There is no sign of the heart attack at all. It’s as if your heart healed itself. I want to see you again in a month, just to check again.”
The couple exchanged a knowing glance as they left the room.
“See? I didn’t need to come.”
“Yes, you did.”
"Why? I’m all better.”
“Yes, you are. But now God’s given your doctor proof He exists. Now God can work on healing his heart, too.”
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Did you mean "breathe" instead of "breath?"
Loved these characters, you were able to give them distinct personalities in very few words. Awesome.
Really good dialogue, emotion and characterization.
Great stuff!
Other than that, great job.
And I agree...getting 'us husbands' to the doctor can be like pulling teeth!