Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Police (10/12/06)
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TITLE: Man in Blue From a Child's Point of View | Previous Challenge Entry
By Cyndie Odya-Weis
10/18/06 -
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Right when my dad hit my mom
Her nose was bleeding and
her tooth was in her hand.
She was screaming, then crying,
then I heard sirens and a knock
Two men in blue said “stop!”
And dad did stop.
He listened to the man in blue.
I peeked out
At men in blue
Big men with guns at their sides
Then I ran to hide.
Man in blue, he tied up dad,
Had some cuffs, he did.
One man in blue he took my dad
away. The other stayed.
Man in blue talked nice to mom
She said, “what about my baby girl
and my son?” Then she cried and
man in blue said it would be OK.
I peeked out at mom- she cried
Man in blue-his hand on her shoulder,
The kids? Two kids? A boy and a girl? We can take them in.
You need a doctor."
Man in blue, he helped me good
He found me behind the door
Said, “come with me, son-
I’ll help you, come on- up off the floor.”
A knock on the door--a woman in blue
And another man came too.
They talked nice to me,
They held the baby and
Put my clothes in a bag.
“Where’s my dad?”
“We took him to get some help.”
“Where am I going?”
“We have someone who can take care of you.”
“Where’s my mom going?”
“To the doctor to get her cuts fixed.”
“Sammie-honey,mommy's going to be OK.”
I ran to hug her.
“The police will take you and Tess to the shelter.
and I’ll come there later, OK?”
“OK, mom.”
Men in Blue feel safe and warm.
The car is warm, I feel tall.
Man in blue hands me a teddy bear.
“You’re a brave boy, Sam.”
Man in blue calls on the radio
His voice sounds quiet and shaky.
“Saved the mom and saved the kids;
Thank goodness… Thank God.”
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I think this would make a great story. To me, it would be much more dramatic that way. Either way, nice idea and well crafted.