The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
I liked your dialog. It flowed nicely. You might want to work on your spacing.
What I like - I like the conversation between the two - it sounds real. I like the use of the song too.
What I might change - besides spacing for easier reading, you need to watch your tenses- they should be past tense in some places, missed a few words here and there and there were a few run ons. If you polish those areas up, this will present so much better!