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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Hope (05/04/06)
We all heard the tears behind the closed door of her bedroom. We prayed she’d come out soon; but when she did, nobody expected the suitcases. Without a word, she rushed out the front door. Nobody could move. What’s happening? I panicked and ran after her.

“Mom! Come back! Mom! Where are you going?” My own tears started to flow. Away... was all I heard. She didn’t look back.

I didn’t know what to do next. The wind blew my pigtails across my face. My hair stuck in the tears. She was gone. I don’t know how long I stood there crying, but suddenly the world that had always been safe and predictable for me now wavered on the edge of ruin.

Everything I loved was disappearing. I never even heard the word ‘divorce’; but I suddenly found myself in a new home that came with the new man in my mom’s life. He was nothing like my dad. Bob drank a lot, and any talk about God included profanity. I didn’t like this new arrangement at all, and time didn’t change that.

“Hang in there,” Dad would say. His strength amazed me. His frequent letters kept me going, but the words weren’t always easy. Dad, he’s not very nice. But he’d say, “Love him anyway.” Dad, he yells a lot. “Be a good kid, sweetheart, and do everything you can to help out.” But Dad, he ignores me. “I know it hurts, honey. I’m proud of you for trying so hard.” Oh Dad…I just miss you so much. He’d say, “I’m here. I’m always here. And remember God is with you, too.”

Over the next four years I lived by my dad’s words. I did my best to love when it seemed impossible to do. I did everything I could to please Bob. And then one surprising day, he noticed. He noticed me! But it was a trap.

What started as a compliment and a smile quickly turned into an ugly, stomach-churning encounter. Scared and confused, I wanted to run, but fear tied me down. He threatened me – said not to tell anyone. But after awhile, the pain of my silence became as unbearable as the abuse itself. I took the chance.

Then it seemed like the whole world knew – including my dad. It was the only explanation for the abrupt halt of his letters… the dwindling weekend visits. He was ashamed of me now; but I couldn’t ask to be sure. I couldn’t bear to hear it out loud. As his existence in my life quickly faded, so did my hope. Hate and resentment filled the gaps, and self-love crumbled.

We’re all born with a voice, but when it’s muted, there are other ways to scream. I used drugs. Please help me.... I shoplifted. I lied. Help me.... I drank into oblivion. Help... God, I want to die... Please help me.

But God wouldn’t let me die. At 15, my mom was at the end of her rope and sent me to live with my dad. I was full of rage. He was elated. He wanted to hug and hold me, but I was cold as ice. You can’t erase the past! The more he tried to love me, the more I pushed him away. Then I ran away from home. For seven days, I witnessed unspeakable events, but never once had plans to return home. God had different plans. I was arrested.

I walked into my house disgusted. With life, with myself, with my dad. Sensing this, he gently took my hand and sat me down on the bed, placing a journal in my lap. I looked at him, tired and confused, and opened it. Within seconds, the tears erupted. He had written me constantly after I ran away, not knowing if he would ever see me again. This was his very heart on paper. Words that emanated forgiveness, compassion, and love. A love I remembered.

For the first time in two years, we talked. He explained the suffocating depression that had taken hold of him over the past few years from the divorce, and grieved the damage it had done to our relationship. Depression? The divorce? Reality hit me hard – he’d never even been told about Bob. As the talking continued, something miraculous happened. We connected again. I learned it’s not always about me. I also learned that with time, wounds can heal if you let them. And love... can always find a place to grow.
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This article has been read 972 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
dub W
05/12/06
Pretty good effort, a little tightning in places and fix a dialogue glitch and this is a winner.
Birdie Courtright
05/13/06
What a terrifying ordeal, but very well told. An inspiring testimony that love heals even the most broken of hearts and relationships. In that we can find tremendous hope. Thank you for sharing this story.
Dr. Sharon Schuetz
05/14/06
You gave a voice to an ugly scenario and brought hope. So many are in this same situation and don’t know what to say or to whom. Good job.
Trina Courtenay
05/16/06
How soon we forget where the cause of self hate can come from. I was to caught up in the story itself to notice if there were any mistakes. It made me cry and touched my soul and because of that it's a winner in my books.
Edy T Johnson
05/18/06
Congratulations, friend! I am not surprised to see your name "up in lights," since you are a good writer and storyteller. I'm so glad you're part of the Faithwriters' family!
Jan Kamp
05/19/06
Congratulations on your commendtion! I went back and also read "The Promise". You have a gift for making the reader really feel the emotions of the people in your stories. God Bless!!
George Parler 
05/21/06
Great job on such a hard subject.

"We’re all born with a voice, but when it’s muted, there are other ways to scream." I love this line. I think it unveils the tear in the soul of the victims.

I think the story should have highlighted more of the fact that the father did not know about the abuse. Personally, I think it would have mended the gap between father and daughter better for the reader.

Again, great job on this subject.