Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Break (02/06/06)
-
TITLE: bread from to break into | Previous Challenge Entry
By christine njihia
02/07/06 -
LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
ADD TO MY FAVORITES
I had a dramatic childhood and grew up in a Christian family of four kids .My parents were the best that I could ever have and they always looked out for us…or so they thought. We were living with my uncle at the time and he was really good. My parents trusted him with us and could even leave us for the whole time with him.
One day when I was six years old, during my school vacation, my parents had gone off to work. He called me and I brought my friends along. When we got there, I noticed that he sent my friends away. I thought he wanted me to do some work for him or give me a toy or chocolate.
He locked the door and went to his room. ‘Come I show you something’, he said. I ran to him because I really loved him and he was fun to be with. I got onto his bed excitedly and the next thing I knew, he was pulling my pants down and unzipping his fly. The next thing I knew, he was on top of me. I got so confused and scared. I could not understand why he was doing that. I only came to know after many years, that I had been sexually molested…sexually abused…a victim of incest.
I left his room and ran off. I was afraid of him and he never maintained eye contact with me…. till now yet that happened so many years ago. I could not tell anyone….who would believe me? It was my mistake that I had gone there…I shouldn’t have. He later stopped living with us. Each time I saw a man, fear would grip me and I felt like hiding. It still happens to me today, at times.
For the next seven years I told no one about it. It’s only till I read some article on sexual abuse and thought that maybe I had gotten some disease. It is this fear that drove me to tell my mum. Fortunately, she believed me, took me to hospital for check up and I was found to be ok. It has never been mentioned since.
I lived with fear. I could not trust anyone and I hated all men. They would all hurt me like my uncle had. Thus, I grew with anger, bitterness and remorse. I despised men and the thought of having a male friend disgusted me. I kept all the pain to myself and would cry myself to sleep. How come my parents didn’t know about it? They should have protected me.
I built walls of defense around myself and locked people out of my life. I hurt so many people in the process; hurt people hurt others. On the outside I was a pretty girl but on the inside I was breaking, dying and I was a deep hater. I needed to get rid of all the pain that was so deeply entrenched but I did not know how or who to talk to. It ate me up and slowly destroyed me. All this time, I kept going to church and was a good Christian.
With time, I came to understand that being a Christian was not good enough; I needed to know God personally, let go and break from my past. He helped me to forgive him and I am walking in God’s freedom and healing now. He showed me who to talk to, healed my wounds and gave me a new heart. I can love, trust and have honest relationships with people; It’s a proof of God’s healing. I had to break free from my past so I could embrace what God has for me. I broke free from my unforgiveness to walk into God’s forgiveness.
This is the first time I am going public about it. I have written it for someone out there, who is locked up in their past and desperately wants to be free. To let them know that they can be free, can love and trust again…only if they are willing to let God help them to forgive. It is possible; He did it for me. No past is too deep and dirty to break away from. Break free today.
He who the Son sets free is free indeed.
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.
What a wonderful testimony in that one sentence! Thanks for being willing to share this--I'm just sure that someone specific was meant to read it, and will be blessed by it.