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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Hear / Here (01/26/23)
“That would look so pretty over here!” My mom loved Jesus more than any person I knew. She also loved pretty things, and definitely had a gift for decorating. When my husband and I purchased our first home, my mom and I had so much fun shopping for furniture, lamps, knick knacks, etc. I had one weekday a month that I was off work and my kids were in daycare. My mom and I would book this day long in advance and plan for a full day of TJ Maxx and fabric stores, always stopping for a long lunch. How I looked forward to those days! “You’re dangerous when you go out with your mom,” my husband would tease later that evening when I showed him my “prizes”.

Moving away from my parents (with four of their young grandchildren) was one of the most difficult things I ever had to do. When a Michigan snow storm kept them from visiting us in our new home, pictures and paintings had to rest against the walls in their temporary spots. “We can’t hang them until my mom gets here,” I told my husband, “I need her help.”

One of my first inclinations of my mom’s dimentia, was her insistence that a rug would be “perfect” in a room that was obviously too small for it. Another time, her taste in fabric seemed very out of character. I disregarded these things - not wanting to even go there - until we could ignore it no longer. My mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s shortly thereafter, and has continued to deteriorate to the point where she can now no longer recall my name.

My husband and I recently moved again for his job, and I just finished painting the dining room of another new house. As I was putting the room back together, my mind was literally flooded with memories of being with my mom. Lamps, candle stick holders, mirrors…almost every piece had been purchased with her. My heart ached for those times, and the tears rushed in uncontrollably. But when I remembered those times, I could hear her words. The conversations came alive in my mind, and it occurred to me that on all of those shopping trips and lunch dates, my mom was teaching me about Jesus, and my need for a Savior. The decorating was just an excuse for her to accomplish her real goal while she was still here.

And all the pretty things are now just reminders of her beautiful in-love-with-Jesus heart that I can only hope to emulate.
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This article has been read 244 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Marlene MCPherson
02/02/23
A great reflective piece. Thank you for sharing.
Bonnie Clarkson
02/03/23
It is a good story, and I like the personal touch. The second to last is an especially good paragraph.
My biggest problem with it was that the 2nd sentence jarred because it was so different from 1st and 3rd sentence. Relationship of "here" and "hear" to the rest of the story is a little thin.
Is "With four of their young grandchildren" necessary to the rest of the story? Or even the whole paragraph? Only you can decide.
The saying is "show, not tell". You did a good job of showing dementia. I would like to see foreshadowing of the connection between "pretty things" and "Jesus". Dialogue would be good for that. You covered pretty things well.
Use word processor to find "and"s in the story and consider eliminating some of them.
Stephen Kimball
02/04/23
Sad yet sweet. Thanks for sharing your memories.
Loni Bowden-Horn 
02/05/23
It brought memories back of my mom who passed away a little over a year ago due to dementia. My mom lived in Michigan. Thank you for sharing her journey with us.
Barbara Culler 
02/07/23
Such a poignant story. You were blessed to have your mom as such a great friend.
Arlene Baker
02/09/23
Awwww! This story has the potential to absolutely sizzle. Your style is bright and crisp. My suggestion is you show more and tell less. Bring the reader along on one of your shopping excursions. SHOW the reader how your heart plummeted when you realized your mother suffered from dementia. Surely there was denial at first. Pull the reader into the denial. The hurt, fear of unknown... any potent emotion. Then, show the reader your victory through Christ. The conclusion was a beautiful wrap up. Good work!