The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
07/10/21
Well done, a creative and memorable re-telling of a known parable. Keep writing.
07/11/21
I liked this entry very much. I can't think of anything I would change. Well done!
07/12/21
Wonderful retelling of Jesus's first recorded miracle.

The one thing that stood out to me was when Leah sarcastically asked Mary if Jesus knew any wine makers...haha, that was a perfect addition.

Well done.
07/15/21
Congratulations on your third-place win!
I really enjoyed this retelling of the Bible story. You did a fine job of bringing it to life. I'd suggest you add some tag lines to make it easier for reader to understand who is speaking, or even better add some body language to show who is speaking. For example: "Yes, of course, Mother, but something unthinkable has happened." Micah tipped his head as he felt his cheeks growing warm. "The wine is nearly gone! What should we do? Everyone will mock Father!" Notice I tightened it up some to make it a bit shorter and more authentic. Often when someone is upset, sentences might be halting, incomplete sentence and go against everything you were taught in school. But try to make it sound a bit more authentic. I also capped Mother and Father because they are being used as proper nouns. Example of proper noun: I'm going to tell Mother. Example of common noun:I'm going to tell my mother.
You do a great job of moving the story forward, developing the characters, and covering topic while delivering a clear Christian message. Congratulations on ranking 3rd in your level and 19th overall. The highest rankings can be found on the message boards.