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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: SMILE (08/13/20)
The suckling infant was held close to her breast as she entered the doctor's waiting room. It was Isha's first time there, and she looked hopeful as she settled down on the bench. She tugged at the cloth draped over her baby's head as the little one made soft gulping sounds. The other patients made sure to indicate their positions in line to see the doctor. Each one aware that the newcomer could easily be given top priority on account of her baby.

As the nurse called on each patient into the doctor's office one after the other, Isha gradually loosened her hold on her infant. Free to wriggle around on her mother's laps the little one began to coo and chatter softly. Those close by were struck by the strange look of the baby's eyes. Clearly one was different from the other. Each one tried to look away feeling either pity or guilt. Then it happened. As if in answer to their responses towards her, the baby smiled and patted her mother's open palm in delight. A toothy smile it was. Whilst they were sad at the prospect of the baby's obvious handicap, she was happy to have her mother close by.

Soon everyone was willing to have a chat with Isha and get close to her and her child. One of the other patients even allowed her to go in to see the doctor before her. Isha felt thankful. It wasn't always easy to be among strangers with her child.

Proverbs 15:13 (NIV) - A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit.

















Fiction
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This article has been read 314 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Holly Westefeld
08/21/20
Your subject matter does lend itself to an emotional connection with the reader, but would be drawn out more with actions that demonstrate the attitudes of the other patients.
For instance, how did
""The other patients made sure to indicate their positions in line to see the doctor."
Did they shift their positions? Glare at the mother?
Also, assigning a couple of names and some personal characteristics to the other patients would make them more relatable.
Mothers and children make great subjects, so keep refining and writing!
Barbara Culler 
08/21/20
This story has a lot of potential to make it much longer. Keep up the good work!
C D Swanson 
08/23/20
I enjoyed this whole piece.
Nicely done. I just really am amazed at how writers all have different stories for each topic in here. And yours was very well done.
Thanks!
Blessings~
Debra Brand 
08/24/20
Your story shows how we react to disabilities and are selfish at times but then when we see true needs we are more than willing to respond. Good story!