Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: PUT YOUR BEST FOOT FORWARD (07/23/20)
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TITLE: The School Play | Previous Challenge Entry
By Marilyn Meiners
07/26/20 -
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“Yes, you can. I’ve seen you use your imagination when you are talking with people. I’ve seen you act out various scenarios to make a point. You’re a natural when it comes to acting and I encourage you to try out for this play at school.”
“Mom, I can’t. You know as well as I do that all the “popular” kids get chosen for the good stuff. No one would pay attention to an outsider like me. They’d just laugh.”
“Well, Joleen, just put your best foot forward and go for it,” sighed mother.
Joleen had wanted to perform in the junior play since she entered high school. She loved acting, and she did have a great imagination. When she spotted the notice on the bulletin board announcing the upcoming auditions for “Oklahoma” she was intrigued. Could she really do this? She did have a pretty good singing voice. She spoke plainly and enunciated her words clearly. Guess she would never know what she could do unless she stepped out of her comfort zone and tried something different. She read the notice again.
Casting for the junior play
“Oklahoma”
Friday afternoon at 4:00 in the
School auditorium.
“I’m gonna’ be there” whispered Joleen.
Friday afternoon arrived. Thirty kids were seated around the auditorium looking over a script they each had been handed when they entered. Joleen noticed little clusters of kids seated together. She looked around to see where she could sit. Seeing no one she knew well, she sat in the nearest seat, alone. “Jesus, please help me,” whispered Joleen.
She scanned the script. She wanted the part of Laurey. She loved the song Oklahoma and sang it at home, a song she noticed Laurey got to sing. She also knew that Emma, the head cheerleader, was trying out for the same part. “One of those popular girls” thought Joleen. She sighed as she realized her chances of being chosen for Laurey was slim-to-none.
“Attention everyone” shouted the director Miss Brewster.
“Quiet! We want to get started. Everyone take your positions. You have each been handed a script pertaining to the part you want to try out for. I want you to read your part, putting your heart into what you read. After this, you will also sing one song related to the character you wish to perform. When everyone has performed, a decision will be made by myself and my Co-Directior Mr. Arnoldson.”
One-at-a-time thirty nervous boys and girls took the stage and performed their part through acting/singing. Joleen watched carefully to see how each of them did. She was especially interested in Emma.
Emma’s performance was spectacular. She had a good voice and her acting ability wasn’t too bad. Could Joleen out-do Emma?
Finally it was Joleen’s turn to show Miss Brewster what she had in her. She read her lines, putting all her acting skills into practice during the short dialog she had.
She sang her way through “Oklahoma” not realizing how caught up in the music she became. When she finished she noticed Miss Brewster whispering to Mr. Arnoldson.
“Oh no!” thought Joleen. “Is that a good whisper or a bad whisper?”
When practice ended Miss Brewster had all thirty kids sit in the audience. She read over her notes, making some suggestions along the way. She then announced who had been chosen for the various characters in the play.
Curley, Aunt Eller, Will Parker…….and finally Laurey.
“We had two very talented girls perform for the part of Laurey. Mr. Arnoldson and I had a difficult time trying to decide who would play the part. But after talking, it was obvious to us that one of the girls put more of her heart into the role than the other. She put her best foot forward in this audition. We are pleased to announce that Laurey will be performed by Joleen.”
Joleen was stunned. She had received the part. She performed better than the most popular girl in school. This was a dream-come-true for Joleen and she was determined to do her best, make her school proud.
Running in the back door Joleen yelled “Mom, guess what? I got the part of Laurey! You were right. I could do this. Thanks Mom for your encouragement.”
Joleen began singing “Oklahoma” as she went to her room.
Based on a true event.
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You have a few POV shifts. You start out in the mom's voice, but then jump into Jolene's head, and later into other students'. One way to avoid this, while painting a picture, is to show what nervous looks like (licking lips, twirling hair, laughing too loud). Tell the story just from what Jolene sees. Also read your dialog aloud. It doesn't sound as authentic as it could. For a week, listen to how different people speak and jot it down. For example, I might suggest an edit like this: "You can do this!" Mom raised her eyebrow. "Use that imagination of yours. Wave your hands. When you want to make a point, you don't give up. Ever!"
Jolene chewed her ponytail. "But Mom. That's different. The preppy kids get everything they want. Not me. I'm not popular. Everyone'll laugh."
By using short, stilted sentences, it goes against everything you were probably taught but fits the mood and will feel more realistic and give you more words to use for body language. You don't need to use the topic words to be on topic, and it's not a phrase most kids would use.
You've an awesome start. I think this could make a great short story for a Sunday school handout or a story for a group discussion. This is such an important thing to teach kids, especially with everything that is going on in the world today. When my kids were younger, I worried they weren't popular, but they are the most caring, hard-working, responsible adults now. And I'll take that anytime over being popular (and so would they!) I really enjoyed this from beginning to end. Even though it's a tad bit predictable, it's still a great story. I look forward to reading more of your stories.