Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: WEATHER (07/19/18)
-
TITLE: Rain and Pain | Previous Challenge Entry
By Shaudonna Bryant
07/23/18 -
LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
ADD TO MY FAVORITES
There is joy and sorrow, laughter and pain
Just like the rain waters the earth
So pain, and suffering come with new birth
Trials and Tribulations build us all the while
And make us beautiful like the sunshine, or a smile
But remember God made the sunshine and the rain
He created laughter and pain
Though one hurts and the other feels good
Both come from the cross and build us as they should
Whether you’re in the valley or on the mountaintop
I am with you, my love will never stop
The rain can flourish, or destroy
Just like trials, either you’re miserable or you take joy
When you rejoice, the rain helps you grow
When you complain about the rain, it clogs the flow
Too much sunshine and everything dies
Too much rain and everybody cries
Just like the plants need both sunshine and rain
We need both laughter and pain
Though pain hurts, it’s only a season
And it helps us grow even tho’ we don’t know the reason
If pain we do not know
How can we expect to grow
If a plant never knows winter, it can’t leave seeds
To carry on against the weeds
If a plant doesn’t know winter, summer can’t come
If there is no persecution, there are no blessings in the home
In the midst of your winter, remember where your help comes from
Jesus gave all not just some
He is with you through every season
He is your only reason
Jesus is why we are who we are
With Him you’ll go far
Remember the Creator of the sunshine and rain
Is the same Creator of laughter and pain
His holiness is like healing rain
That washes away all your pain
Pain comes, and pain goes
Then you grow to be the perfect rose
When all the pruning is over and everything is cut away
It may look like nothing but seize the day
Jesus loves us that is why we go through so much
But He always renews us with the power of His touch
Remember the rainbow after the rain
Also remember my promise when you’re in pain
I’m always with you
My love never fails, and my words are true
Do remember how dark it got on that faithful day on the cross
I stayed there and suffered so there would be no loss
Just as I suffered do as I do
Whatever you go through I do too
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.
Poetry is not my strongest suit because I am tone deaf, but to my ears, it felt like the rhythm might need some tweaking here and there. One great way to tell would be to ask someone else to read it aloud. If she stumbles, then it may need some tweaking. I used to count on my fingers the number of syllables in each line so I would be a bit closer. Of course it's more than just the amount of syllables but the stressed and unstressed ones should create a pattern too. I can't hear the stresses at all, so I may be off base.
I did notice you switched who the MC was at times because at first it felt like Jesus was speaking to me (I am with you) then later you use Jesus as a third person (Jesus gave all). I also noticed the voice switched from you to I to us or we. You want to stay consistent with voice and tense.
I think God has great plans for you. Your words touched my heart and I could definitely feel your passion. Keep writing and reading. I'd urge you to read and comment on every entry in your level and two or three in each of the higher levels. I've been amazed how much I've learned from reading and giving constructive criticism. You may be a bit newer to writing or to FW, but I bet you've been reading since you were 5 or 6 so you have lots of experience in that and that's who we write for. Good job.