Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: SOCIAL (04/07/16)
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TITLE: A Dangerous Dilemma | Previous Challenge Entry
By Elaine Hemingway
04/14/16 -
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The general opinion on angels seems to be that we are other-worldly, that we sit on clouds playing a harp, and sometimes intervene in peoples’ lives. Nothing could be further from the truth, and certainly, as guardians, it is not our job always to protect from harm. Although that may be possible, sometimes what is seen as a disaster could have been allowed as part of the Perfect Plan to achieve something.
Let me introduce myself, as I enter your world for a time. I have been called as assistant to one of my colleagues whose charge is about to experience many difficult circumstances in her social life, so here I am, looking for solutions.
My name is Tertia, and I am one of a trio called to intervene in special circumstances where Elyon has a plan for an earthling who is unwilling to submit to His leading. Verna is a fifteen year old who recently accepted Jesus’ sovereignty in her life, but is as yet unaware of where this will take her. Althaea is her guardian angel, present throughout her life and currently needing assistance as the enemy attacks her charge. This is normal after conversion, and so we must witness, but not necessarily prevent, some dangerous encounters for a young girl on the brink of womanhood.
Of necessity, our work has evolved through the ages, and I hasten to add that this is one place where that word can be used, as against contrary arguments that deny our Creator. The changes have come about through the technological progress made in communication, and now even prayer is considered a target for one of our enemy’s favourite tools – compromise. Having grown up in the hi-tech era of e-mail, Internet, Face book, Google and other such media, Verna is failing to recognise the dangers she is exposing herself to.
Althaea managed to avert disaster a couple of weeks ago, when Verna wanted to go to a Rock concert much publicised amongst her friends. “I can’t see why not,” she shrieked at her mother, Anne. “Sabrina is going and everybody will be there. It’s not as if we will be drinking.”
Anne had looked past her daughter to the smiling face of her husband, obviously impressed by his wayward, obstinate daughter, and about to give permission. With hasty certainty she had pre-empted what he was about to say.
“Sorry, darling, I know you would like to go, but not today. We are going to support our friends at the church meeting and your idea must be set aside.”
If angels could breathe sighs of relief, Althaea would have done so, for that was the day Verna was to hear the message that would change her life.
The next warning signs emerged last week when Darien, the school hunk, invited Verna on a date. With no previous interest but now with practiced subtlety he wooed, gracious and polite.
“I hope you don’t mind my following you,” he said, as he caught up with her outside the school gym, “but I watched you at Tennis, and boy, you’re good.”
It was a good weak spot to hit on, for she is really proud of her success in Tennis – in fact she would like to play professionally.
“Say, how about you meet me later; we could grab a latte or something?”
Flattered, she accepted, for he is known as the catch of the season, with several girls vying for his attention. She doesn’t know about the reputation he is building amongst his buddies!
Danger in this age comes in many forms, not all physical. How easily come temptations, unrecognised, unchallenged and insidious in their encroachment. As I watch our young ward gaily skip through her new life, the roles we play have to move with the times, and general teenage rebellion is a subject we constantly address. Our tactics are watched by the enemy, and where we can direct thoughts we cannot control the responses. Satan’s fiery arrows must be deflected, and our unseen battles are becoming more complicated. Verna can now be protected for she is a new creation and we will be ready to intercede.
Thank Elyon, we have the victory in Christ Jesus.
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Blessings~
I enjoyed it.
Most authors struggle with show don't tell. Your first part was mostly telling. You could tweak it just a bit and make it more showing. For example: Just as I started to make my way to Earth, I heard another angel call me. "Hey Tertia, you forgot your harp."
Praying for patience, I turned around. "You know that myth about angels sitting on clouds, playing harps really bugs me. Besides, I have an important assignment."
"Oh, who is it? I could look her up on Facebook or google her for you."
"It's not funny. That so-called social media is the main reason Verna needs my help."
Of course, I took liberties just to show you one way to paint a picture using body language, dialog, and even humor. Near the end, you do a lot more showing and it did pull me in. You have a great message, although it might feel a little preachy to some, the message is one we all need to remember. I'm so glad God created angels to watch over us. I know the ones watching over me have been quite busy, but boy am I grateful. You did a nice job on this charming story and interesting characters. I look forward to reading more of your work.
I almost didn't read this because the text appeared as one long sentence and felt overwhelming. I'm so glad I did.
You have great potential as a writer, and I think you would have placed higher this week if you would have broken your story down into paragraphs.
Blessings~