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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Barbeque/Cookout (09/06/12)
A day is beckoning
It’s calling out my name.
The weather is just tepid
With a hint of rain.

Then the clouds start parting
A swift change in weather.
The sun comes shining through
The day could not be better.

I’ll have a barbeque
Invite some friends of mine.
We could sit, watch the game
We’d have a real good time.

The air’s filled with laughter
It smells of seasoned meat.
Everyone, having fun
A barbeque complete.

All my friends drew closer
Each of them excited.
They want to hear the words
From one I’ve invited

It was our new pastor
Talking ‘bout our Father.
We need to call on Him
We are not a bother.

Just like in my back yard
God has a barbeque.
Using the tree of life
A cookout just for you.

Forgiveness the main course
Salvation is around.
Cooked with so much love
Served up on Holy Ground.
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This article has been read 825 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Terry Lee
09/13/12
I enjoyed this poem. My only red ink would be to avoid using "just" whenever possible.

Consider the phrase, "the weather is just tepid." Tepid, which means moderately warm, also implies a lack of force or enthusiasm, so adding 'just' is reduntant, and so it reduces the power of the word, 'tepid.'

Overall, I loved the poem. It made me smile throughout, with its happy, soulful, joyful feel.

C D Swanson 
09/13/12
I enjoyed this poem. It had a powerful message and was well-written. Thank you.

God bless~
Mildred Sheldon
09/14/12
I loved your poem. It was beautifully written and the message was wonderful. Thank you for sharing and God bless.
Janice Wappel
09/18/12
Loved the ending and the sentence that said; "Forgiveness the main course"
We need to keep that little phrase in our minds on a daily basis. Thanks and Great job!
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
09/20/12
This is really lovely. You made so many good points. I liked how you showed that the companionship of friends is more important than the food. Your lesson at the end about God is a powerful message and will hit people in different ways. That's always a cool thing because it shows the Holy Spirit is at work through you and your words.