The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
05/12/12
Profoundly stirring entry. A lovely devotional piece to Jesus Christ, and an important message and reminder for all of us.

God Bless,

Camille~
This is a lovely devotion. I really liked how you told how everyday life can make anyone weary and then used examples in the Bible to bring home your message.

I did think you may have used the word weary a bit much. I know part of it was to make your point, but sometimes by showing the reader instead of telling it can have a greater impact. For example with Moses something like Moses trudged across the dessert. The complaints of his followers echoed in his head. It's just another way to paint a picture for the reader.

Your beginning was outstanding. It drew me right in and I could visualize what you were saying. I also thought your ending was quite strong, bringing the reader full circle. You definitely nailed the topic too. A lot of people used Jesus as an example, but adding the others was refreshing and different. Nicely done.