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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Winter (the season) (08/13/09)
Grief is to the soul like cold is to the bones. Both cause you to shutter, to gasp, and to curl up with a blanket to block out the chill that has invaded your body. Your daily life becomes seasonal…you may wake up with a spring-like heart only to later fall into a melancholy daze. Other days may be filled with a winter chill that lasts for weeks then God lifts you up like a summer breeze. Sorrow can become a constant companion…but without sorrow you cannot experience true joy…just as rainbows only come after the rain.

I’m learning that grief is like a new pair of shoes. You put them on; they don’t feel right, the shoes hurt and pinch and make your feet ache. You then take them off and rest your feet. Knowing that one day, they will become a pair of old, comfortable familiar feeling shoes…one day.

I long for the cold days of winter. To immerse myself into a self-made cocoon with my daughter’s favorite blanket, to find comfort in the memories of whom she was in Christ. God has sustained me and given me warmth in my soul even as the now frequent cold wind of grief continues to chase my spirit.

From this sorrow, God gave comfort…

She was beautiful. Lying in a pink casket was my daughter; her blanket was a cascade of summer joy. The aroma of daisies, roses, hydrangeas, and sunflowers comforted me. She wasn’t supposed to be dead. Didn’t God know the natural order of life? Parents first…it should always be the parents. But it wasn’t. The past two days were a blur…the decisions, the friends, the heartbreak….the outpouring of love was overwhelming. God carried me…I know because the pain was too deep to walk.

I gazed at my daughter. Tears clouded my eyes. She would never be a bride, God. I caught my breath as the pain jabbed my heart. Never a bride and I would never be the helpful and loving mother of the bride. I traced her face with my eyes. Her creamy porcelain skin, dark eyelashes, and perfectly formed lips. Oh, how I loved her smile! She would have been a beautiful bride. I stood there soaking every detail of her face…

And God, as only He would…whispered to the depth of my soul.

“You ARE…Mother of the Bride.”

“I am Lord?” my soul replies.

“Yes,” God whispered again. “You are standing by her side; receiving friends….they speak of her warmth and beauty.”

You see….

“She is…MY Bride.”

“I am…HER Groom.”

“You ARE…Mother of the Bride.”

I blink back the tears again. I turn and receive our friends…and I smile with my eyes--because that is what a mother does for her daughter.

I know that Earth has no sorrow that God cannot heal; and that the chill will thaw bringing a “new normal” to my life.

I know it…I believe it… and I’ll walk it… but I miss her.
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Janice Fitzpatrick
08/20/09
Oh my goodness hon, how bittersweet and beautiful this is! The memory, descriptions and the comparisons are just amazing. Wow! My eyes were filling with tears as though I am the daughter, losing my mom earlier this year has been so painful. However, I know my mom, though older in years, is a beautiful forever youthful bride now and her groom is loving on her as she waits for the rest of her family to meet her. How lovely is this precious piece. God bless you hon. I didn't know if you chose this piece because of firsthand experience or someone you knew who went through this. If you have gone through this my heart breaks and feels for your loss. Praise the Lord for his mercy and grace and for giving us a chance to have our own "wedding" once we reach that golden city. Keep up this wonderful work.:0))
Jackie Wilson
08/21/09
Anyone who has lost a young child or grandchild can recognize and empathize with the grief you described so well. Thank you for the hope you included at the end.
Mildred Sheldon
08/24/09
This was a very sad piece but it did not have anything to do with the winter season. True it dealt with the coldness of losing a child and how it drained lifes warmth from your heart, mind and body but Christ is your strength and in times such as death you lean on Jesus. He is our sustainer.