Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Adolescence/Teen Years (07/16/09)
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TITLE: Picnic Drama | Previous Challenge Entry
By Renee Ripley
07/20/09 -
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Bumping along the creek side road with my boys, Joshua and Caleb, I took in the beauty of nature; grateful to be away from the smoggy city. In the backseat Caleb hummed a little tune only to change it if he smelled a skunk. As if on cue, he would out in a sing song voice, "Dead skunk in the middle of the road!" Older, and of course much wiser brother would roll his eyes in disgust. The country life was not for him. He preferred the city, his school and his studies. He was as serious as anyone could ever be - born an old soul.
Winding our way through the trees, we looked up and down at the glorious colors of autumn. Caleb's assignment for the next school day was to produce an assortment of leaves representing the season. When we came to a particularly colorful area we stopped and Caleb scrambled out. Having come from the deserts of Arizona, the changing leaves were a treat to him. Skipping, slipping and sliding he was the epitome of childhood. Joshua, however, stepped gingerly out of the jeep, helping unload the picnic lunch as he swatted bugs away. Then he settled down to work on some physics homework. Oh, that son of mine!
We spent the afternoon picnicking and looking for the very best leaves and organizing them by type and color. I was enjoying the respite from the pressures of the city. Although we had moved from Arizona to Colorado we still lived in a large city with smog, traffic and tourists. All the commotion got to me once in awhile. Now, up in the mountains, I felt I could breathe uncontaminated air.
The afternoon drew to a close and the mountain chill began to nudge itself into our tranquility. As we started to pack up the car, I noticed that Joshua had become extremely quiet. Having just come through a bout with pneumonia, I was concerned.
I queried, "Honey, aren't you feeling well?" I touched his forehead, which, fortunately, was cool to the touch.
Joshua glanced up and said, "My head feels like it's going to explode at this altitude. My ears hurt and it hurts behind my eyes!? I gingerly touched him around the eyes, which were puffy and swollen. "Well", I chirped, "Let's get you some allergy medicine and head back home!"
I turned to pull meds out of my daypack and picked up a can of soda lying on the picnic blanket. I turned and handed Joshua the tablet and the can. He took the can from my hand and said, "Well, I hope it's still fizzy!" He put the can to his ear, listening intently with eyes closed. Just as he did, a creek gnat zeroed in on his nose. He yelped in surprise, soda splashing everywhere and into his ear. "I hate this!" he wailed, nose, ears and eyes all dripping. "The mountains, the creek, the bugs...and soda in my ear!"
Caleb and I were stupefied at first and then suddenly burst into howls of laughter, which only worsened the situation. Finally our laughter subsided and with resultant hiccups we loaded the car and picked our way back down the mountain. Joshua by that time had dried himself off, taken his medicine and calmed down. As we neared the city and headed towards our house, Caleb started re-telling the episode all over again, squealing in little kid laughter. It was all I could do to sternly glare at him and try to keep a straight face. Finally I said, "Well, it would make a great story!"
I received a fatal look. Well, maybe I wouldn’t go there.
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Remeber to space out your work (see the other entries) this helps the reader to not get lost in the story.
I love your writing style.