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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of “A Bird in the Hand is Worth Two in the Bush” (without using the actual phrase or literal example). (01/10/08)
She sits on the corner in the down pouring rain
Tears plague a gentle face filled with such pain
Her life has seen much heartache in her short fifteen years
Beset by the affliction of her very own fears

Once upon a time in a life so long ago
A little girl smiled, the little girl she longed to once again know
A life of promise, peace and hope
Surrounded by pressures of life, she could no longer simply cope

Wracked by heartache she sought she strength in the arms of another
She strayed from the arms of God and her very own mother
Instead addiction and depression became her very god
Closer to the gates of hell she trod

Deeper she sank into hopelessness and despair
Strangers quickly passed her by pretending not to care
Now she finds her self so helpless and alone
Sitting by the cardboard box, on the street corner she calls her home

They gaze upon her once again tear stained face
Mutter words of discouragement; call her nothing but a disgrace
The words just empty into an already empty heart
Her world and theirs drifting further and further apart

She silently whispered, “God, I don’t know if you’ll answer my prayer.
If you really are God please validate that someone really cares.
I am not just another statistic or another face in the crowd.
I am not truly lost but simply just waiting to be found.”

A stranger silently passed on his way by
He could feel the warmth of tears this young girl cried
She sought for something, so much more
She fought so much harder than she’d ever fought before

In the pouring rain their eyes silently met
And his words she would not forget
She gently whispered, “Excuse me mister, could some spare change, perhaps even just a dime.”
He shook his head, “I cannot offer you spare change but perhaps I can offer you some love and just a little of my time.”
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Member Comments
Member
Date
James Clem
01/18/08
Heart rending! I had trouble with the meter -- poetry is not my strong suit. Writing a good story in verse form is a very difficult skill (I certainly don't have it.) This really pull out at the emotions - good job!
Joanne Sher 
01/19/08
This certainly moved me - what a story. A bit of work on the meter would help this flow better. I ached for this man.
Hanne Moon 
01/22/08
I don't have a talent for telling a story through poetry, but I think you do if you keep working at it. Your meter is off - the words don't flow when read aloud. The story is great, but work on the rythym. Read your poems aloud and see how they flow to the ear. Keep writing and perfecting a nice talent!