The Mommy Desire | Previous Challenge Entry

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TITLE: The Mommy Desire | Previous Challenge Entry
By Judy East
01/22/05
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I can remember back in my twenties having an aching desire to have a child that feeling of wanting to nurture and love someone. I had already been threw a miscarriage as well as a tubule-pregnancy and almost lost my life. The sweet icing on the cake was when the doctor told me I could not have children at all. This was not at all, what I wanted to hear.

I wanted to be a mother more than I wanted to take my next breath. I felt as if God had forsaken me. How could God let me down like this, he knows my heart. He knows how much I desire to have a child. I to this very day never felt such a desire or pain equal to this one.

I have read in the bible, the Lord will not give us a cross that we cannot bare. I was finding it very hard to believe. Thou my life would go on without hearing a child say the word I so desired to hear…Mommy. God must have looked down on me with grace one day because within little more than a year, I was with child.

With just a wave of his holy hand, he gave me a gift from heaven above. This was a happy time my deepest desire became Gods passion. I never will cease to thank him for loving me enough to give me this special gift of love. She said daddy first, but says mommy with the voice of an angel that brings tears to my eyes. My faith in God will never again falter. It is just hard sometime to remember it is not in our time it is in his time that a pray is answered.

My little angel is seventeen now and acts as if she loathes me. I just look to heaven, pray, and know in my heart she will one day grow-up and love me once again. I patiently wait with faith and know that God will work it out…I know this to be true… God had her first.

Jeremiah 1:5

Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.

This is very reassuring to me nowadays these oh so sweet teen years. I may not be in control I can live with that, because I know that God is in control.

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