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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Happy (07/12/07)
I have an imaginary pet. I call him happy. I have an imaginary friend. He’s happy too. There is a place were I like to go when things are not what they should be. I call that my happy place.

I give the name happy to a lot of things. At one of the meetings that I go to, a collection plate is passed that people put “happy dollars” into. All the money then goes to charity.

I have a happy tie. I wear happy shoes. I note happy moments. And I guess you could say that I pay happy dues.

Do you think that I am a happy person?

I suspect that there will be some people who will get it right because they may be familiar with the process of marking and noting those things that are happy. These are the people who often get by only by taking their happy pills.

I suffer from depression. If you have heard the recently broadcast commercial for a leading depression medicine, it is true when it says “depression hurts everywhere.”

I am happy to be able to say I can talk about it. It is something that people do not understand. I think that many of the people who seem to not understand are not as happy as they pretend to be.

Some of my saddest days were after I started experiencing depression and before I was able to admit that I was depressed.

My happy shoes were not happy. The happy moments were few and I could not seem to find that happy place. So, I had to look for a reason for why I wasn’t happy. That was a long and tiring process as I blamed and excused every sense of failure. I wasn’t even failing. It’s just that I felt like it.

Friends who don’t understand depression are a miserable clumsy mess when it comes to the things that they say. Some friends have accused me of having unconfused sin. If they had only known the depth of heart searching that a depressed person goes through they would be ashamed for their own lack of introspection. They themselves might have some sins of a judgmental attitude or of arrogance to confess.

People try to cheer me up. I appreciate the effort but I wish for their sake that they would not set themselves up for such a useless activity. I would also like them to realize that their effort to cheer me up puts unfair pressure on me. If I fail to be cheered up I either have to risk disappointing them or I have to fake cheer.

I say all of this because I believe the depressed person knows better then most people what it really means to be happy.

Consider how Job found pleasure in things that are so easily taken for granted. Instead of looking at all of what he lost in his most devastating days, he realized it was the Lord who gave him what he once enjoyed. He realized that it was a God given experience that he was grieving. He lost only what was once his by God grace.

For me, I am startled by joy in the Lord. He sends profound beams of light through the armor that darkens my soul. That armor can only be penetrated by the miracle of God’s mercy. A depressed person may have a hard time showing a genuine smile. It might even be as hard as a person trying to smile through physical injury. God often shines his super penetrating beams of light by the glowing smile of a caring friend. I’m happy for those friends. I don’t even know some of the people who smile God’s brightness towards me.

I am so happy for a loving family who is strong when I can’t be.

I am so happy for a family who loves me enough to put up with me when I am miserable to be around.

I am so happy for a God who reveals his strength in my weakness.

I am so happy for the opportunities my depression has afforded me for understanding what other people are going through.

Did you know that sleepless nights are often studded with star filled skies?

Did you know that a depressed person’s weakened resolves, also known as humility, can be a playground for the power of a mighty God? Thinking about that makes me happy.
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This article has been read 911 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Joy Faire Stewart
07/19/07
In the beginning I thought this would be a light read, but then realize how serious the subject was. You make an excellent point that we do not know what is in a person life and therefore should not judge.
Clyde Blakely
07/19/07
Would it be possible to copy this into a pamphlet so I can hand it to some of my friends during my unhappy times?

Great job in descibing those times of depression - an inside look.

God bless and keep writing.
Dee Yoder
07/19/07
Your title is an awesome testimony for the subject you're discussing here. I can sympathize and empathize, but I'll never know just how it feels to walk in your shoes. Thanks for sharing this, and I'm grateful God is able to send help to you when you need it, in the way you need it, at the time you need it. He's soooo good to know!
Kevin Rodgers
07/19/07
I found myself intrigued by this. There is just so much here that I've never stopped to think about before. Very insightful. Good Job!
Seema Bagai 
07/20/07
This line is awesome: "sleepless nights are often studded with star filled skies". I will remember it.
Gabrielle Morgan
07/20/07
An interesting title - depression a large playground where the power of God has great leeway to work. I liked your positive focus on happiness to alleviate the pain of depression. Well done. An encouragement to others who may suffer too.
Phyllis Inniss 
07/20/07
Thanks for sharing this article that gives the reader, unacquainted with the effects of depression, an insight into what the sufferer experiences. It would be a helpful entry into a health magazine or some such book.
c clemons
07/21/07
Just like the commenters here, I thought this was an interesting read. You are a very good descriptive writer from one who has lived it. It has always been my belief that depression is a demonic spirit much like anything else that is negative and contrary to what God has for us. If thought of in that vein you have to know there is nothing bigger than our God. He already set before us 2 choices and he gives us a direct command to choose life. I like the analogy a good playground for God, but the truth is he didn't come to play.
Edy T Johnson
07/22/07
You articulate your message so very well. Depression is very close to grieving, and I thank the Lord for giving me the experience, as well, because with God, nothing is wasted. How much better can we sympathize with our grieving neighbor, when we have lived through it ourselves. The enemy may mean it for evil, but we know our God means it for good. So, we can rejoice even through our tears. Great job, here!