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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Walk (07/20/06)
It was like looking through a two-way mirror. I could see others rushing about their daily routines, but they were unaware of everyone outside of their little worlds. My friend, Alexander had pulled me up here on the clouds to take a peek. I guess being an angel gets lonely sometimes and he wanted company. Boy, did I see things from a different angel on the soft, fluffy clouds.

There was the little neighbor boy in the corner drug store browsing around the candy racks. “Hey, kid, put that back. I saw that.” He slipped the candy bar into his pocket and walked out of the store. Then, there was the lady I know from church sitting at her office desk working frantically. I wonder why she seems so distraught. What could be weighing upon her so heavily.

“Alexandra, is this what you do all day. Do you perch yourself up here on a cloud and watch to see what happens?” He explained, “I am usually down there picking someone up and setting them back upon their feet or providing protection from harm. I enjoy coming up for a walk on the clouds. I find it peaceful, and the view is clear,” he said.

I watched for a minute longer to see a young man help an elderly lady across the crowded street with her load of groceries. On one side of town, a gang was spray painting the side of a building in the back alley. A group of youth across the tracks was pitching in to pick up trash at the community park. Everywhere that the eye could roam, it was evident that a battle was raging between good and evil. Alexandra is just one angel doing his best to make a difference against the forces of darkness. With that, my walk in the clouds was over. I returned home to try to touch one life at a time, leaving the fingerprints of God wherever I trod.
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Marilyn Schnepp 
07/30/06
I think you meant "seeing things from an different angle"...(not angel); anyway, unique perspective here - seeing things from an angel's point of view. Nicely done, and I liked the last sentence. Good job.
Steve Uppendahl
08/03/06
Very cool idea, using the angel's perspective. I've done it myself, and it's quite the trip isn't it?

I would've liked to have seen a longer piece. You have a great idea for your story, but I'd like to have seen more detail--how did Alexander feel when he saw the various acts of kindness and those making the wrong choices? How did the narrator feel? Could you hear or smell anything?

Also, the angel's name changed from Alexander to Alexandra. An easily fixed mistake.

Great concept for a story and very entertaining. Keep it up.