The Official Writing Challenge
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I like this! It's like a cross between prose and poetry, taking the best features of both. The only line that jarred a bit was the "If you know someone..." line--could be just me, but the mood seemed to do an abrupt turn there. Very emotionally truthful writing.
The more I read of this, the more I could see this being read accompanied by an acoustic guitar in a Christian coffee house. Very thoughtful, insightful piece. Good job!
A cry of longing for peace to ease the torment of the soul is present in so many of us. You have put this across poetically and feelingly and I like it.
This piece had some great power in it. I loved the first line. You hooked me right away. Then you sort of lost me with the repetition of "like." Try to work on creating analogies without using "like." It's difficult, but it can be done.