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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Soul (07/13/06)
Silent cries… Muffled Screams…Frustration ever looming.

Like a dog chasing its tail ever close… but never there.

Forever grasping at hope of shattered dreams blown amidst.

Like a vapor, or the slowly dissipating fog.

What is this vision that I am supposed to see?

It looks like a distorted portrait in the image of… Me?

Is this what it means to look through the glass “darkly?”

Never really seeing what you need to see, yet everything is present that you are supposed to see.

“Who or What has blinded me?”

I’m confused…lost….distressed…and distracted by my own flesh pulling me deeper and deeper into sin.

OOHHH! This soul longs for sweet rest and peace!

If you know someone who has a vision, and maintain their sight, then please take my hand and lead me to the light.

Encourage my soul, Restore my faith; and then feed me the word to nurture my hope and make me whole.

This is the silent cry of this… poor… sinner’s… soul.

“Why art thou cast down, O my soul? And why art thou disquieted in me? Hope thou in God; for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance.” Psalms 42:5
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Jan Ackerson
07/20/06
I like this! It's like a cross between prose and poetry, taking the best features of both. The only line that jarred a bit was the "If you know someone..." line--could be just me, but the mood seemed to do an abrupt turn there. Very emotionally truthful writing.
Lisa Vest
07/21/06
The more I read of this, the more I could see this being read accompanied by an acoustic guitar in a Christian coffee house. Very thoughtful, insightful piece. Good job!
Phyllis Inniss 
07/22/06
A cry of longing for peace to ease the torment of the soul is present in so many of us. You have put this across poetically and feelingly and I like it.
Mishael Witty
07/22/06
This piece had some great power in it. I loved the first line. You hooked me right away. Then you sort of lost me with the repetition of "like." Try to work on creating analogies without using "like." It's difficult, but it can be done.