The Official Writing Challenge
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Okay, this could be the start of something much more. Think of deleting the second person addresses. A creative idea - ham this up a little more, stronger yiddish throughout. I think you have a diamond in the rough here.
Thanks for your honesty, it was fun and entertaining to read your perspective. I spent a good many years with the same point of view. Chin up! Its an adventure you won't be sorry to have started on.
This piece is so refreshing! I adore your honesty, and NY bagel humor is about my favorite kind.
("...melt down all of your Home Shopping Channel jewelry into a golden gerbil"...Heehee!) Nice flow, good strong ending. Yes, God has a marvelous sense of humor, He gifted you with a good chunk of it, my sister.
Keep writing, keep digging for the Faithful and True. "...He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him." (Hebrews 11:6)

Actually I don't think you're allowed to "ham" up Yiddish.