The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
04/13/06
Some great turns of phrase, good message which you were subtle about (I like subtle), just watch you're /your
Thanks
04/14/06
These are two really great characters! You developed two fully formed personalities in very few words--not an easy feat to pull off. I love it!

When using a dash--like this--you don't need a comma.

This is one charming story!
04/14/06
Loved the two characters. How wise you are to demonstrate that the more intelligence one has the more likely they are to miss the obvious. Always seeking more knowledge while the satisfying aspects of life just out of reach and what stands between Tobias and fulfilled was being blocked out by all the books he absorbed. Strange. It's often true but it still seems that it should not be that way. You've choice of words and descriptions indicates a very talented person.