Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Enter (02/27/06)
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TITLE: Just a Tiny Glimpse of Heaven | Previous Challenge Entry
By Susan Gurney
02/28/06 -
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I got hotter…and more tired by the minute. I quit looking up ahead and now only stared down at my feet to keep them from stumbling. “OK, girl,” I mentally prodded myself, “you need to take one step at a time--and don’t stop. One step; two steps; three steps, four… Left foot, right foot; left foot, right…” More sweat ran down my face and neck and smeared my glasses. --And there were flies—huge flies!—which feasted on my neck and arms. Horse flies or deer flies—whatever they were, they were aptly named. Seemed like they were at least as big as horses! --Now how much farther did he say it would be? I noticed that the others had also slowed down and seemed more labored in their breathing.
A cheer suddenly rang out. We picked up the pace. The end was within sight! I looked up and out as the path suddenly broke out from under the dark shadow of the trees. What a sight my eyes beheld! We had entered a high mountain meadow overlooking lower tree-covered mountains split by a steep valley containing a tiny winding ribbon of water. Above us and across the valley below were higher mountains with their own grassy meadows rimmed with high rocks and dotted with patches of snow. We all collapsed on the ground and drank in the sun-washed beauty around us. As we drank deeply from our canteens of water and nibbled on snacks, some sighed in awe or talked amongst themselves in hushed tones as if we were in a great cathedral. Pastor Ben chuckled and pointed all around, “Now wasn’t that worth the climb?” We nodded in agreement. He continued, “This is what I picture heaven being like: resting forever in a sunny mountain meadow with good company and an incredible view!”
I think back on that earthly glimpse of heaven from time to time, especially when the path gets steep and the way is hard. How precious the hope that one day I will stumble out into the sunshine of the mountain meadow the Son has prepared for me, and there I will hear him say, “Enter in, dear child—enter in to your eternal rest!”
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The description of the mountain meadow in your third paragraph seemed a bit wordy after the varied sentence length of the previous two paragraphs. Could the description be in its own paragraph or put into at least one more sentence of shorter length to give variety?
What a wonderful concluding paragraph! Good message!