Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Help (02/20/06)
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TITLE: The Prayer Warrior | Previous Challenge Entry
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02/27/06 -
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Her mind was still sharp but at times her speech faltered, she knew what she wanted to say but the words played hide and seek on her tongue. She was thankful that the Bible verses that she learned as a child were still with her, what comfort they provided as the years took their toll and her body slowly became her enemy.
Catching a glimpse of herself in the mirror one day she realized that she looked the way that she felt, old and worthless. “I have nothing left to offer anyone” she said aloud to her wrinkled, graying reflection.
She said as much to her pastor that day when he dropped by for his weekly visit. He set his teacup down as he contemplated her statement of resignation. Fixing her with the piercing blue eyes that could cause even the saintliest of saints to squirm, he ventured one question.
“Are you telling me that you truly feel that you have nothing left to offer God?”
Bowing her head to hide the tears that threatened to escape from her cataract clouded eyes she whispered “Yes”.
He nodded his head. “I see.”
Once again he fixed her with his piercing stare.
“Tell me, what was the greatest pleasure that you derived from doing the Lord’s work?”
She thought it over for a minute.
“My greatest pleasure came from knowing that I helped somebody.”
“Is that still your desire, to help somebody?”
She let the tears flow as she nodded her head.
“Yes but I don’t know how I could possibly do that given my feeble condition.”
He smiled at her. “Did God think that Moses was too old and feeble when He was chosen to lead his people out of slavery?”
“No, but I can tell you right now that I’m not up to endless marches across the desert with enemy armies in hot pursuit.”
His booming laughter rang out in her tiny apartment.
“I can see you haven’t lost your sense of humor. I bet you haven’t lost your ability to pray either.”
“Well no, I still converse with the Lord, although I can no longer do it on my knees with my hands folded together.”
Crouching down in front of her he put his hands gently on her stooped shoulders.
“It doesn’t matter to God how you pray, He still hears you. All that matters is that you do pray. He still needs prayer warriors, and I can think of no better person to carry on that ministry than someone like you.”
His candor was a bit unsettling but she was intrigued.
“You’re saying that God can still use me? I’m not totally worthless?”
“Nobody is worthless in God’s eyes. Especially when they’ve been a faithful servant like you’ve been throughout your life. Just because your body’s given up on you don’t assume that God has too. As long as you have a breath of life in you He can still use your gifts and talents.”
All of this was heady stuff for the ailing little lady who just minutes ago considered that she was all washed up. For the first time in ages she felt a spark in her heart and her eyes practically lit up as she considered her newfound worthiness.
“What exactly is a prayer warrior?”
He explained that a prayer warrior did many things. They offered prayers of thanksgiving and petitions on behalf of others, and when the situation warranted it, became an intercessory between another Christian and God. A more difficult task would be the prevailing prayer, which was in essence, to pray without ceasing.
The more details he provided the more excited she became. This was something that she could do right here in her own home. She didn’t need anything other than her faith and love for humankind, God would provide the rest.
Her name was added to the church’s prayer list and now you can find her answering the calls of distress night and day and hear her prayerful pleas winging their way to heaven as she once again helps her brothers and sisters in need.
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I think you have a wonderful point you are making here, and the beginnings of a great story. My grandmother suffered from severe arthritis so I could totally relate.
The main thing I see here is that you are using too many words. Try cutting 10% of the words, then cut 10% more. Most of the "that"s you included could be cut out. Many of your sentences could be tightened up to give a much stronger message.
For example, "she didn’t seem to have anything left to offer humanity" could become "she had nothing left of offer". Or "She said as much to her pastor that day when he dropped by for his weekly visit" could be "she said as much to her pastor during his weekly visit" - do you see what I mean?
There's some really good writing here, keep writing, you are on the right track!
I love this entry and I hope many people read it and get encouraged.