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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: End (02/13/06)
In innocence, they wait,
Snuggled deep in the warm comfortable darkness
Of the one who should love them like no other human,
Conceived in a moment of unthinking passion,
Unplanned for, undesired,
Two hundred and fifty lives out of the thousand,
Children who could shape the future,
Heros who could save the day,
Lives that would make a difference
Snuffed out,
Extinguished,
Their beginning an end.

In innocence, they wait,
Not realizing what they are in the eyes of others -
A crisis for the man who would not be a father,
A problem to be solved for one who has no time to mother
A sudden panic in the life of a child too young for the games she has been playing.

In innocence, they wait,
Seranaded by the beating of a heart turned against them,
Of the decision made that hides the the truth of who they really are,
Their small lives too short for words to begin to give them voice -
There will be no screams when the shattering moment arrives
When their dark, pleasant shelter becomes a death trap beneath white antiseptic lights
And cruel hands, ignoring the fear and pain that overwhelms them,
Pull them into that other dark from which there is no return,
Aborted.

Innocence dies,
But the pain, though, echos on,
In the battered heart of one who chose wrong.

Kyrie eleison.
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This article has been read 1344 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Jan Ackerson
02/21/06
Painful and sad--with some very good word choices. Check the spelling of "serenaded..." Very heart-rending.
Garnet Miller 
02/21/06
A good interpretation of abortion and its awful effects. Thank you.
Lynda Schultz 
02/23/06
Powerful expression. I stumbled over the last two lines. I don't know if it was the comma before and after "though" and the shortness of the last line. But, in any case, this was well done.
Cheryl Harrison
02/24/06
The pain and tragedy of abortion. Someone has to write about it. Thanks for being that someone. God Bless.
Jeffrey Snell
02/24/06
Chilling, intimate, real.
Anita Neuman
02/24/06
Such beautiful, heartbreaking poetry. The truth of that last line just resonates. Abortion is an issue that I feel so strongly about (in fact, my husband and I started a crisis pregnancy centre in our city 7 years ago, and we're actually going to a fundraiser dinner tomorrow night) and I'm so proud of you for putting this into words. You've done a great job, and I hope this poem gets a lot of attention.
Tiffanie Chezum
02/25/06
Powerful and well written.
Dara Sorensen
02/25/06
So heartwrenching, and thought-provoking.
Shari Armstrong 
02/25/06
This is truely heartbreaking -and something so many people need to read to help them understand the pain :( Well written.

(and I just heard yesterday that one of the states, I think SD? had voted to ban almost all abortion!)
Linda Watson Owen
02/26/06
What a heartrending poem about too many tiny lives ended too soon. You have some movingly effective images in this piece. Well done!
Andre Kingston
02/26/06
I agree with all the other comments about your courage as a writer and the strength of your content. It is wonderfully well written.

I just have one thing I would like to suggest to you. Your line breaks are too far apart. I mean quite often, your longer lines would be more effect broken into two or three separate lines - maybe even make their own stanzas. I would suggest that you play with that. I sincerely believe that more line breaks would only make your powerful writing even more poignant.
Suzanne R
02/27/06
This was POWERFUL - wow - this blew me away.