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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: HARMONY (11/03/22)
Faith skipped down the sidewalk, holding her Mom's hand loosely. “Jesus loves me, this I know ….” she sang as she went. Dinner was finished and her Dad had left for work. Faith and her Mom were out for their nightly walk.

The air was cool and crisp and the heavens were filled with lights. Leaves cascaded from the sky, carried by the gentle breeze. Faith gazed up at the sky, in awe. The moon was full and bright.
“Mommy, why does the moon come out every night?” she asked softly.
“God created it to provide us light when it is dark,” her Mom said.
“How does it know when to shine, Mommy?
“God made the sun to shine in the day and the moon to light up the night” her Mom replied.
Satisfied, Faith continued to sing and skip down the sidewalk.

The next morning Faith awoke to her Father giving her gentle kisses.
“Daddy you're home,” Faith said joyfully.
“Would you like to come down and have breakfast with me?” he asked.
Faith jumped out of bed and shouted “Yes Daddy!”

As Faith entered the kitchen, the doorbell rang. Her Dad answered the door. Faith peered around the corner to see who it was. It was her Aunt Melanie. Faith ran to her Aunt, with her arms opened wide.
“Auntie Melanie!” she exclaimed jubilantly.
“Hello, my beautiful darling”. She scooped Faith up in her arms.
“Your Mommy and I are going to feed some people at the soup kitchen,” Melanie said.
“You're going to help them by giving them, food Auntie? Faith asked inquisitively.
“Yes, we work together to help each other” Melanie replied enthusiastically.

When her Mom and Aunt were ready to leave, Faith kissed them goodbye.
“Daddy what are we doing today?” she asked.
“We are going to visit Grandma. And while we are there, I will do some yard work for her” he said as he held her close.
“I get to play games and have tea with Grams” Faith shouted.

As they pulled into Grandma's driveway, Faith was excited. Once inside, Faith ran to her Grams. Her Grandmother stooped down and gave Faith a huge hug.
After some brief conversation, her Dad headed toward the yard.
“Robert, Robert” her Grandmother called out.
Faith's Dad turned back toward her. Crying, her Grandmother said “Robert, I want to thank you so much for taking care of the lawn and leaves. Grandpa used to do all that stuff. I greatly appreciate it” She wiped tears from her eyes.
Weeping, Robert replied “You are welcome Emily. It is an honor to be a blessing to you.” He then went out into the yard to do his work.

Faith and Grams sat at the table for a cup of hot tea and to play her favorite game 'Fish'. Faith began to think about a question she could ask Grams.
After a while, Faith asked, “ Grams, why are Mommy and Daddy always helping people?”
“Faith, my dear; your Mommy and Daddy do their best to live as Jesus says in the bible” she replied.
Her Grandmother arose from her chair and grabbed her Amplified Bible off the shelf.
She opened to Romans 14:19 and began to read aloud.
“So let us then definitely aim for and eagerly pursue what makes for harmony and for mutual up-building (edification and development) of one another,” she said jubilantly.
“Grams what does that mean?” Faith asked, perplexed.
“Jesus wants us to be a blessing to other people. When we do this in love, we help them and this pleases Jesus” her Grandmother explained.
“So when Mommy and Daddy help other people, they are making Jesus happy?” she asked.
“Yes, my dear, that is right,” Emily said.
For the rest of the game, Faith remained silent; pondering her Grandmother's words...

When her Father was done with the yard work, they said their goodbyes and headed for home. On the drive home, Faith said to her Father “Daddy, Mommy has been helping people all day by feeding them and Grams says, that makes Jesus happy.”
“Daddy, can I help you make dinner for Mommy tonight?” “That will bless Mommy and please Jesus!” she exclaimed.
“Yes, Faith that would be wonderful” he replied enthusiastically.
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
11/13/22
I am a sucker for a children's story and this was a delightful read with a nice message. I especially liked how you followed the cardinal children's story rule of having the child resolve the conflict instead of an adult stepping in to resolve it. My advice would be to make the dialog more authentic by using incomplete sentences, contractions, and slang. I'd also urge you to use more body language and since this is geared for younger kids, keep sentences shorter. For example, if I were to edit this, I might suggest something like this:
Faith crinkled her forehead. “Grams, huh? What's that mean?”
Grams smiled and patted Faith's arm.
“Jesus wants us to bless others by helping them."
Faith tapped her finger on her chin and thought about Grams' words. "Hmmm, when we help others, it makes Jesus happy?"
Grams nodded.
Grinning, Faith said, "I'm gonna find a way to make Jesus happy too."

This is just a really quick example to show you what I mean. It's not perfect, but I hope it helps you understand what I mean.
You've done a lot of things the right way and have a wonderful foundation to build upon. If you ever decide to go farther with this and want some help tweaking it, let me know. You did a great job of writing on topic, delivering a clear message Christian message, and introducing and resolving a conflict in a fun, interesting way for kids. I enjoyed it from beginning to end.