The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
God always answers prayers. I enjoyed travelling with you
to deliver this precious gifts.
09/03/22
This story was great but the reading a bit cumbersome with excessive descriptions. My suggestion is to trim some of the boxes information and focus a bit more on the farmer. LOVED the description of him. SHOW him caressing those Bibles because he said they were important to him. SHOW his gnarled hand. Engage in the reader's emotion.

You can also leave off some of the tag lines in that there are only two people throughout most of the story.

Show a bit more and tell a bit less to make the story sizzle. I enjoyed reading it very much.
Lovely snapshot of a trip. I appreciate your adventure.
The writing tips in the comment section are valuable and I've gleaned them for myself too. Onwards and upwards thanks to wonderful input from fellow writers.