Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: ENOUGH (01/07/21)
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TITLE: I Give Up! | Previous Challenge Entry
By Denene Humphrey
01/14/21 -
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For most of my adult life I’ve worked like a Hebrew slave trying to make bricks without straw (see Exodus 5: 6-8) to take care of everything on my own. You see, I am what’s known as a “fixer.” When something is wrong, I can almost always be counted on to do whatever is within my power to make things in my life right again. Suffice it to say, things have not always worked out well because of my overzealousness to jump into the fire.
Make no mistake, I’ve been burned multiple times in my attempts to douse the flames of crises, situations, trials, and circumstances. It’s enough to say that with each perceived inferno that I thought I was able to put out on my own I usually only managed to make the issue or issues worse. I’ve often turned what was just a tiny spark that could have been put out with a teaspoon of water into an all-out, full-fledged, scorched earth conflagration. All this is because of fear, and my arrogant unwillingness, in thinking I knew best, to WAIT ON GOD.
I willingly admit that I am not the world’s most patient person. I want what I want when I want it, and that almost always means I want it NOW. Well, by encouraging this ‘spirit of now’ I have caused myself a lot of trouble and unnecessary damage. Listening to the shrill, ear-splitting screeches of Satan asking me, “What are you going to do?” playing over and over on an unending loop means I’ve made many decisions out of baseless fear and desperation. Yes, I’ve gone to God for help and wisdom, but I just hadn’t been giving Him the opportunity to act on my behalf.
You may not have experienced this, but in the past when I’ve sensed lack (especially financial) I almost always take immediate control. Here’s how the scenario plays out. I recognize the problem. I pray and ask the LORD for help. Then, if I haven’t heard or felt anything by the end of my request, I devise a scheme based on the seriousness of the situation, and the screams of Satan.
Because of my stubbornness, I have unwisely done things like take jobs that have caused me to have stress-induced illnesses, grieved my soul, and pushed me to the brink of more than one mental breakdown. I have borrowed money that I had to work an unhealthy amount of overtime to pay back. These choices have caused many backdrafts as I have tried to battle what started out as tiny sparks of flames.
I don’t want you to think that I never hear from God. I do. A lot. I’ve just allowed fear to rule instead of faith and trust. I’ve finally learned my lesson, though, and I now refuse to continue to wander around and around this same mountain like a lost Israelite. God has been admonishing me to be still and know that HE is God (Psalms 46:10 NLT). Mind you, this has not been easy for me, but because of my strong desire to have faith, and trust in God I have finally decided to not only just listen, but to also obey. I am being still now and giving God the chance to show up stronger for me than I ever could. Now, when there’s the slightest spark of a potential flame I run to Him instead of the fire. After all, HE is God, and I am not.
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The only improvement I would make is to not use the word
'overzealousness'
Maybe, instead, it should read
"Suffice it to say, things have not always worked out well because of my propensity to be overzealous when jumping into the fire.