Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Start (01/16/06)
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TITLE: The Start of a Blessing | Previous Challenge Entry
By Audrey Shockley
01/23/06 -
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I was taken aback by his question. Not really that he had asked, but mainly because I could not provide an answer. I could hardly believe that I, who had been saved and baptized since the tender age of thirteen, could not answer this question with a resounding yes. But no, this was one question I simply could not answer.
Sure, I had drifted away and made some terrible mistakes in my latter teen years, but God had forgiven me, hadn’t he? How could I have lived almost ten years thinking I was a Christian, when in fact, I was learning at this very moment, I indeed was not.
Taking me away from my thoughts was my husband’s tender touch as took my hand into his. Knowing there was doubt in my heart, my husband asked again, this time with a more serious tone, “Would you go to heaven?”
At the thought of not being able to answer this all-important question, the tears began to flow. As my husband looked at me expectantly, the tears came down faster and harder. I wasn’t saved, and I knew I had let him down. He was a devout Christian. His dad was a minister, exposing him to the Christian faith his entire life. He had never known anything any different. How could he have picked a wife who could not answer this question? Was our month-long marriage over before it had even really begun? How could he forgive me when he had expected to marry a Christian?
Knowing it would devastate him, I had to be honest with him and myself. Amid all of my hesitations and doubts, I looked into those disappointed eyes and answered him with one simple word, “No.”
He too, was now in tears. As we held each other close, he whispered, “Do you want to be saved -- to know that when you die, you can answer my question differently?”
Now crying uncontrollably, the only answer I could provide was a nod. After waiting for me to regain my composure enough to speak, he led me in the sinner’s prayer. Much to my relief, my husband simply hugged and kissed me. He did not judge me or ask any questions. He only held me close and told me how much he loved me. With that, my reservations disappeared into his arms.
As he looked into my eyes, I knew everything would now be different for us now. As he held me before we both drifted to sleep, he whispered, “Now we have a new start with our marriage. With God in both of our lives, we can now be blessed.”
Five years and one child later, I look back and realize just how much God has blessed me. He had blessed me with a wonderful and loving husband, but most importantly, one who is also strong in his faith. God provided me a partner to grow in my spiritual life with, and one who could be a blessed father himself. God blessed me with a new start on life, for that one moment was the real start of our marriage, and I count everyday with husband a true blessing and a true gift from God.
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