Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: WILD (11/16/17)
-
TITLE: Flash Point | Previous Challenge Entry
By Jay Dalton
11/23/17 -
LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
ADD TO MY FAVORITES
Evelyn jerked Debbie’s arm hard and pulled her toward the exit of the store.
“Mom, what’s wrong with you?”
“Look! Don’t you see what’s happening!”
A huge surge of young adults quickly surrounded Evelyn and Debbie. They were looting, pushing and yelling. Fights broke out among the melee, customers, and employees.
“Police! Where’s the police!” screamed Evelyn in a panic.
Debbie stumbled over a body and fell to the floor. Evelyn lost her grip on her daughter. Debbie screamed for help as she was repeatedly kicked and cursed.
“This is wildly insane! Why, Lord Jesus…Help!”
Evelyn pushed the lead assailant back who was kicking her daughter. Out of nowhere she received a full face punch.
Evelyn’s eyes fluttered. She had no idea how long she had been in the floor. She felt pain in her side and realized she had been kicked. She raised her head slightly and saw a pool of blood.
“I think my nose is broken,” she mumbled.
“Stay down and don’t move,” shouted an angry and authoritative voice. It was the police.
Evelyn saw SWAT on the uniforms.
“O, my God. Someone must have been shot,” she sputtered.
Evelyn turned her head and saw Debbie lying in blood. She struggled to get to her daughter.
“O, my God. No! No! No!”
“I told you to stay down!”
Evelyn tried to rise but lost visual focus. She realized she was fading out and collapsed.
Three days later, Frank was at his daughter’s bedside. He held her hand and gently kissed her cheek.
“Come on baby, please. Snap out of it! Dear Father in Heaven. I’ve asked You before, and I’m asking You again. Please release my baby from this coma.”
Debbie had a purple face and swollen eyes. She slowly came to and moaned, “Dad, is that you? …Mom?”
“Daddy’s here, baby.” Tears trailed down his face.
“What…Where am I?” Debbie groaned. “It hurts so bad. It hurts everywhere.”
Frank pushed the bedside buzzer repeatedly.
“Nurse, she’s come out of the coma and she’s in a lot of pain. Can you do something?”
“Of course,” replied the nurse.
Frank held her hand and prayed quietly as she drifted off to sleep. He left ICU and returned to see his wife on another floor.
“How I thank you now, more than ever, Lord.” Frank prayed as the elevator ascended.
“Honey, I have wonderful news. Debbie has come out of the coma. She’s gonna be okay. Despite the broken ribs, there is no internal bleeding.”
Evelyn mouthed the words, “Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!”
Evelyn had a huge bandage over her nose that wrapped around her head. With effort, she spoke with a deep nasal tone. “Why did God let both of us have broken noses? Frank, we didn’t do anything to anybody. Why? Why? We could have both been murdered. The whole place went wild, and I felt like God wasn’t there.”
“You know the Word as well as I do,” said Frank. “It’s just like the Bible says, ‘Perilous times will come.’
I do believe that this a wake-up call to be more situationally aware, and I don’t think that we have been in tune with God lately.”
“I think you’re right, Frank. Somehow we have drifted. We don’t pray like we used to, and we’ve missing a lot of fellowship.”
“You know, honey, I am very grateful to Jesus that we have been spared. Things could have been much worse. I can’t believe how much has changed in my lifetime! This insane, wild crowd gathered through social media to take advantage of this culture that politicians have created. There is no real defense against this. If you are at the wrong place at the wrong time, bad things can and will happen. That is why I think we need a turn-around in our relationship with God. It’s not just us. I think every Christian needs to listen, I mean really listen, now more than ever.”
“Oh…so true.”
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.
You had a action packed beginning, but in the middle to the end of the story you told more than showed. Also you switched MCs--from the mother to the father.
Don't feel bad about the change in MC, I still struggle with point of view.
God bless, and keep writing! Trudy