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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: BUG (04/06/17)
“Are you serious,” Mom said after hearing my plan. “You need a new winter coat, you mean you would rather have a car?” I told her, “Yes, I very much want a car of my own.” This was in the mid 60’s, I found a 1957 VW Bug with an oval rear window and a cloth sunroof. I was working for a doctor making $220.00 a month. My parents had moved to West Virginia and they let me live in a room above the garage while renting out the rest of their house.

I had no money so I financed everything the car, title, tags and insurance, the total came to $500.00. That was a lot of money for me. The car was white and I named it “Snoopy” guess us gals have a thing for naming our cars. I really enjoyed the independence of having my own transportation.

Snoopy ran pretty well, but one day it sounded too much like a sewing machine. I took her to the mechanic and explained,”The car sounds too much like a sewing machine.” He took it for a ride and said,”You’re right it does sound like a sewing machine, we checked it out and you have a broken engine mount.” So glad he did not tease me because I am a girl, and glad my engine did not fall out of the car!

I went to visit my parents in West Virginia one weekend. I enjoy driving and would do my best to climb those mountains. Those who live out west near the Rockies, call our mountains hills, but they are mountains to me. I was following a big truck heading up one of those mountains and he motioned me to pass him. If I had a CB I would have said, “My little car with 36 horses won’t make it, but thanks anyway.”

After about a year and a half, on the way home from work I came to a stop, looked both ways and thought the car in front of me had taken off. But it did not. I hit the back of a very sturdy Studebaker Lark, no harm to their car. I sat there and cried I knew my Bug was dead. I had quit smoking a week before and still had a partial pack in the glove box. Against my better judgment, I started smoking again.

About that time I was engaged to John, he had recently purchased a new 1966 Silver Corvette. The first time I drove it, I found myself going 70 mph with little or no effort with those 350 horses. I was shocked at first after driving my little car, but I learned to tame it. Even though I missed my very first car, I was able to soothe my pain by driving a cool new sports car. Still, have fond memories of my bug Snoopy.
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This article has been read 642 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
LaVonne Wood
04/17/17
My husband names all our cars also. I think everyone can remember their first car. They will always be special to us. Thanks for sharing. Blessings!
Larry Whittington
04/19/17
Transitions are very important as you go from one main thought to a different one.

Experiment with different ways (sentences) to move from one thought to a totally different one.

Now, "bugs" are almost only a memory for all of us.

Did you have anyone you could get caught up in the "slug bug" game?
Phillip Cimei
04/19/17
I think you had a good take on the topic. I would have like to have seen a good hook. What will make me want to find out about this bug.

If you would have picked one interesting thing about the bug, expand on that with creative active sentences and ended with a bang, it would have flowed better and kept the interest of the reader.

You did bring back some memories. That is always a fun read when your mind races back to an era you are familiar with and have similar experienced.

Keep writing and take all the comments in the spirit they are given. God bless.
Graham Keet 
04/20/17
Your descriptions are clear and vivid, but the ideas seem to jump around a bit. Try to stick to a central theme, using an introduction, body and a catchy conclusion.

Please keep on writing.
Bonnie Bowden 
04/27/17
I am glad you are reading and making comments on all of the other entries, Judy. It will help you get better as a writer.

I think you could just start your story talking about Snoopy. It might have looked like a rust bucket to anybody else, but the five hundred dollars I used to finance Snoopy was some of the best money I ever spent. (I know this isn't the best example, but I hope you get the idea).

Keep up your good work!