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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: PUZZLE (11/24/16)
Carolyn stooped over to carefully identify the object before her. She studied its form as she silently considered its color and shape. Something caught in her mind as she picked up the object and shuffled to her left. Holding it with her right hand she steadied herself with her left and scanned the objects on the table in front of her. Something clicked and her spirits rose.

"Got it!" She exclaimed with joy as she placed the object down and completed the picture before her.

She continued to stare at the beautiful panorama that lay before her. It reminded her of a time when she was a little girl and the world had been so shiny and new. She felt a small tear fall on her left cheek, but it was a tear of joy, not of sadness.

"Did you finish, mom?"

Carolyn felt a hand on her left shoulder and she turned to look at a kind face. She studied her features which seemed so familiar and yet not. Strangely they reminded her of herself at a younger age. Through the fog she remembered that the woman had called her 'mom' and that must be true. She had to be a mother and this woman must be her daughter and that was a good thing.

"May I have another beautiful picture to put together?"

"Of course, mom. You liked this one?"

"Oh, I did. I liked it very much. It was difficult, but I finished it."

"Would you like an easier one?"

"Oh, no. I like this kind just fine."

"I'll get you another."

"Thank you so much."

Annette, Carolyn's daughter, stepped outside of the room and began to walk toward the closet where the puzzles were kept. She watched with fascination as some of the other denizens moved about their various activities. Some seemed better than her mom, but many did not. She opened the closet, chose a picture that she thought her mom would like, and headed back to her room.

"Don't do that young man."

Her mom's voice carried well into the hall and Carolyn hurried her steps. She stepped into the room and saw her mother and brother staring at each other like two bulls ready to charge at one another.

"What's going on here?" She asked no one in particular.

"I just tried to take her completed picture away?" Her brother replied.

"Why?"

"Because she's done with it."

"Did she say that?"

Her brother's reply was a look that could kill before he stomped out of the room without a word.

"Who was that?" Her mother asked.

"Your son."

"He doesn't act like my son."

"I agree. I'm sorry. Here's a new picture."

"Thank you. You are very kind. Did you say you are my daughter?"

"Yes."

"I believe that. You have kind eyes."

Carolyn watched her mother get to work on a new picture before slowly stepping out of the room. She closed the door carefully and turned almost into her brother.

"I've had enough of her."

"She didn't do anything wrong. You were trying to take her picture away."

"It's a simple picture. It's made for a child."

"It's everything to her. Don't you get that?" It brings her joy."

"How can something so simple bring her joy?"

"Does it matter?"

"I suppose not. I just never expected this."

"I didn't either, but it's what we have to deal with. I thank God every day for that closet over there. Those pictures are keeping my mom alive."

Her brother is quiet for a while before saying, "I have to go now. Are you coming?"

"I'll be right along."

She watches her brother walking out before turning back to her mom's room. She walks in the room and stands watching her mother putting another picture together. She looks so content. The pictures give her a purpose and that is everything.

"Thank you God," She whispers before stepping out with a smile on her face and just a little hope in her heart.
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This article has been read 532 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
C D Swanson 
12/02/16
Beautiful read!
God bless~
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
12/04/16
Wow! You really brought that story to life. The grief is palpable, yet so is the love and faith. The pacing was perfect and moved the story along at just the right time.

My only red ink is minor. Be careful about the tense. You started with the past, but in the end were using present. There was also an awkward sentence in the middle where she left the room and almost turned into her brother. I knew what you meant, but for a second, I envisioned her shifting into her brother (either literally or figuratively).

I think you nailed the topic and did so in a couple of ways. This is a heart-wrenching tale and kept me engaged from beginning to end. You really told a powerful story.
Bonnie Bowden 
12/04/16
Sometimes it is the small things in life that keep us going. One person's treasure is another person's junk. I am glad that the MC was able to provide her mom some comfort.

My mom was just diagnosed with vascular dementia, and sometimes has difficulty finding words for what she wants to say. It is both a challenge for her and me, and I am not always patient.

Keep writing!

Larry Whittington
12/05/16
A well written story with a lesson for all at its heart. What a person is able to due is all that should be expected of them.This is true of children or adults with a child's mind.

I don't know if this is a true to life situation or not but we should learn the lesson when it is our time to experience the same situation.
Bonnie Bowden 
12/08/16
Congratulations, Ken, on placing 1st place in the Intermediate category and moving up to the Advanced level.

I enjoyed your well written story and look forward to reading more.
Judy Ewald
12/08/16
Ken, Congratulations on 1st place.
I thought it was very well written. I could relate my Mom was like that, it was sad. I like how you brought in the brother's attitude, it can be hard for some to deal with it.
look forward to learning from you and others here.