The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
09/02/16
Cute. You need to leave more white space. Also, drop most of the tags indicating the speaker. I have that problem too.
09/03/16
I loved it!

Blessings~
09/05/16
He took a second job to help with the bills. You forgot the a.

I agree that this definitely needs more white space.

Great storyline. I liked how it ended the way it started with them enjoying each other's company on the porch.
09/05/16
He took a second job to help with the bills. You forgot the a.

I agree that this definitely needs more white space.

Great storyline. I liked how it ended the way it started with them enjoying each other's company on the porch.
09/05/16
Sorry, I got distracted and accidentally sent my critique twice.