Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: PRIDE (inflated opinion of one’s self) (02/19/15)
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TITLE: As Proud As A Peacock | Previous Challenge Entry
By Dot Hannah
02/25/15 -
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February 25, 2015
He swelled with pride as he announced to his father that he was well able to manage his own affairs. No, he was not being disloyal but free spirited. He deserved a shot at doing his own thing and discovering the world while he was young. His true colors were shining brightly. He was prideful and self-centered and made no apologies about it. “I am not a child,” he said with a sense of power. His father tried to reason with him, but the son snapped, “If you value our relationship, dear father, say no more and give me what’s rightfully mind.” And so he did.
His adventures carried him far away. He had no problems finding friends and companions of the opposite sex. He spent money on them lavishly, buying jewels and expensive clothing. A surprising number of people knew and greeted him as he walked down the street, and he was delighted with himself, as proud as a peacock. His sinful pursuits were scandalous, as his mind was continually on evil. He drank heavily and indulged himself in any and every sordid thing he desired, bedazzled by it all. It didn’t bother him in the least that he was squandering all the good gifts his father had worked so hard for. He remembered with clarity the mundane life he left and pledged to himself he would never go back, so thankful he had escaped.
As he was enjoying his leisurely life, he didn’t count on his money vanishing so quickly. On top of all that, the economy bottomed out, and everyone was alarmed. There had never been anything like this. He found himself without a dollar to his name. People no longer paid any attention to him, as he was just as penniless as them. Dead tired and hungry, he searched for work near and far but to no avail. There were no jobs to be found. The cold winter wind had brought with it clouds so somber, and a rain so penetrating, but he continued to search, hoping for something somewhere, wandering about like a lost and starving dog.
At last, he found a pig farmer who agreed to let him feed his pigs. He was so famished that he actually considered devouring the husk the pigs were eating. The eyes in his ravaged face looked gray with astonishment as he could hardly believe he had sunk so low. He collapsed in disillusionment and sorrow. What had he done? What had he been thinking? A he regretfully recalled, he knew it had been madness for him to leave his tranquil home. In the quietness as he began to reflect, he remembered that even his father’s servants had plenty of good things to eat. He admitted that he had been arrogant and selfish, this peacock now a mere feather duster. Perhaps his father would have compassion, although he knew he did not deserve it. He had nothing to lose. He would return, confess his sin and hope his father would forgive him and allow him to become one of his servants. Yes, as his inner voice reassured him, it was all he could do. He would promise to give his full effort and never disappoint his father again.
Nervous and apprehensive, heart racing, he turned down the long road home going over and over in his mind how he would negotiate with his father. As he drew near, he thought his eyes were deceiving him. Could it be his dad watching for him to return? His hair was liberally sprinkled with gray now, but his eyes were as bright and clear as ever. Father ran out, with kindness glowing, and embraced son kissing both cheeks. Trembling with excitement, he asked his servant to kill a fatted calf and bring a robe, a ring, and sandals for his son. He said, “For he was lost and now is found.” The warm celebration was simply wonderful and the day sweet and memorable.
Child has your pride and selfishness distanced you to a faraway place removed from the Father. The love of your Father is changeless, in spite of your bad choices. He will forgive and embrace you. Think carefully. No matter how long you have been gone or how much time you have wasted, He has a warm welcome awaiting you. Humbly return.
“Pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall.” ( Proverbs 16:18) ESV
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You could further improve your writing by adding dialogue and do more "showing". You can find some great lessons on Jan's forum. For example, about showing versus telling on http://www.faithwriters.com/Boards/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?f=67&t=38434. Our about dialog http://www.faithwriters.com/Boards/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?f=67&t=28938.
Keep writing!
Thanks for sharing your entry in the challenge.
God bless~
If you think about it, there are many good stories told in the Bible.
I think you did a great job dressing up this story. Blessings, LaVonne
God bless~