The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 974 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
02/28/15
Your story about the prodigal soon is right on topic. You also introduced some funny images, such as the peacock and the dust feather!

You could further improve your writing by adding dialogue and do more "showing". You can find some great lessons on Jan's forum. For example, about showing versus telling on http://www.faithwriters.com/Boards/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?f=67&t=38434. Our about dialog http://www.faithwriters.com/Boards/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?f=67&t=28938.

Keep writing!
A good retelling of the familiar story, but I agree with the review above, it needs dialogue to make the characters come alive. Well structured and had a good flow to it.
03/01/15
Great choice of bible stories to depict pride. In the sentence ending with "say no more and give me what’s rightfully mind.” I am sure you meant to say "mine". Also, a question is asked at the end, but there is no question mark.
Thanks for sharing your entry in the challenge.
Downsized from proud peacock to humble feather duster. A terrific entry. I echo the helpful hints offered thus far - great advice, and I may look into Jan's Basics again . . .
03/02/15
I loved this entire piece! Clever use of the topic and enjoyable throughout!

God bless~
03/03/15
I guess people like dialog. I for one, like some good story telling. Reminds me of the stories my Dad would tell.

If you think about it, there are many good stories told in the Bible.

I think you did a great job dressing up this story. Blessings, LaVonne
03/05/15
Congrats!

God bless~