The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
11/21/05
I would suggest breaking it up a bit with some paragraphing- making it more readable; otherwise, your subject matter (which is very good)gets lost. Nice try!
11/26/05
The anticipation of what's next. I thought that your story was short enough spacing the paragraghs wasn't really necessary. Enjoyed reading your thoughts. God bless ya, littlelight