Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Exotic (08/08/13)
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TITLE: We Have More in Store | Previous Challenge Entry
By Barbara Caldwell
08/13/13 -
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Have you ever daydreamed about taking a vacation to an exotic tropical island? In 1998 a television show titled Fantasy Island premiered. Two of the main characters that stand out in my mind are Ricardo Montalbon who played the role of Mr. Roarke, and Herve Villechaize who played the role of Tattoo.
Fantasy Island was an exclusive tropical island visited by guest who paid $50.000, to fulfill their ultimate fantasy. At the beginning of the show Tattoo rushes to ring the bell and shouts “The plane! The plane!” to announce that the guest were about to land. Mr.Roarke announces “My dear guest, I am Mr. Roarke, your host ,“Welcome to Fantasy Island.”
Shows like this portray exotic beaches, with all types of exotic surroundings, even exotic foods. In these shows and others like it, we saw people enjoying themselves, sunbathing, shopping, eating, etc. The scenery was almost breath-taking.
Imagine yourself lying on a beach covered with golden sand, with the sea so blue, and so clear that you can see the bottom. You can also imagine exotic flowers and trees, with a sweet- smelling breeze that seemed to sweep your feet.
Why dream? You can have an experience that greatly exceeds this fantasy? Heaven is the paradise that all Christians look forward to. Men often refer to exotic places as paradise. Earthly exotic places can’t compare with heaven.
To find a paradise that you can live in eternally read Revelation 21. Mentioned there is a city made of pure gold like unto glass, even the street of the city is pure gold. There are also pearls and precious stones found there.
Accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior by grace through faith. Because as Christians we have more in store for us, than any earthly exotic island.
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A tiny bit of red ink for you would be to go back and look how many times you used the word exotic. Often, when I see that I wondered if the author may have worried that the piece was off topic, but you can nail the topic without ever mentioning the word or only mentioning it once. For example, take this line: Shows like this portray exotic beaches, with all types of exotic surroundings, even exotic foods.
It still would be strong and on topic if you did something like this: Shows like this portray gorgeous beaches with all types of interesting surroundings,and even mysterious foods. You also had some tiny errors with punctuation that a proofreader or challenge buddy might be able to help you spot. If you find another author with whom you connect, don't hesitate to send her a PM asking if she would like to be a challenge buddy. If the person says no, then ask someone else. You have a gift and not only would a buddy help you catch typos, but I have no doubt that you would be able to help your buddy perfect her piece as well.
Your message is beautiful. Though, a lot of people have written about Heaven being the quintessential exotic paradise, you approached it in a fresh way by describing the TV show. I thought it was an original take. I also liked that you gave a chapter for the readers to look up and explore more on their own. Those are key parts of a great devotion and you handled them masterfully.
God bless~
to lead into your devotional.
As others have said, you used a new approach and it works.
Thanks for sharing.