The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1329 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
I enjoyed reading about a day in the life. You have a subtle sense of humor. I do wonder if I hadn't read the last story, the Dickie doll may have left me scratching my head. You have some fantastic showing verbs, though I'm not sure proffered was the exact verb you were searching for as it didn't quite seem to fit for me. I think of it more it as a proposal, though technically it does fit. I really liked how you included the prayer in this piece. I may have ended it with that and left off the last line. You did a nice job of writing on topic while delivering an important message. You did a delightful job with this devotion. I'm sure many will see themselves in this great piece.
05/31/13
I totally enjoyed this piece and I know that many others will as well. Great job.

God bless~
06/02/13
I found this original and very interesting to read. I enjoyed your style of writing very much, felt as though I was reading from a ladies magazine. The subtle humor left me smiling. Very well done.
06/02/13
Great description of a day in the life of......with much reality in circumstances and reactions. It was fun and the ending prayer was a good finish.
06/03/13
Nice job with this.

My only suggestion would be to tweak the formatting a bit in one place:

I, incensed, took umbrage and tore after her like a mad mama lion.

(Actually, I went to her and told her I still loved her, even if she was a poor judge of baby dolls), and that he was adopted.

I would have combined the two paragraphs, gotten ride of the parenthesis, and made "and that he was adopted" it's own separate sentence.


Great job with this. I loved, and I think my own entry might be a paraphrase of the conversation she had with God, and the conversations that many of us have with God!