The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
This is fantastic! I think you did a splendid job of covering the topic in a fun way. The only thing I might suggest is to be a bit clearer on what she was doing. At first I thought she was a nursing student, then maybe a volunteer at a school, then I decided it had to be at a hospital. I guess you did explain it with the Service Learning Class, but I still felt a tad confused. However, other than that slight bit (which could just be my tired brain not wanting to process things) I think you did an outstanding job. You developed the characters so well in so few words. The MC is a delight and I'm sure many people can either relate to her or know someone like her. You also developed the conflict quite expertly. The ending was beautiful and really says it all. You did a fantastic job on this one!
Very nice story. Well done. Thank you.
What a delightful story! I empathized throughout!
Wow, this is so good! I hope you get to move up to advanced soon. Your story through the character's was developed so expertly. You have a gift for fiction girl. I agree with Shann though, I was a little confused as to what exactly the MC did. It really seemed like the MC was in some kind of nurse's training, but then you started to use the word volunteer. But it almost didn't matter because the story was being told at such a perfect pace and in a way that kept me completely glued as to what was going to happen next. Great job, and I am excited about what your next piece will bring. If you don't know how to throw a brick (and want more comments on your piece) get on forums and go to the "Throw a brick" thread. Deb has instructions there as to the two ways it can be done. You should definitely do it for your next piece. You are very gifted!
Congratulations on placing second in your level!
I am so glad you placed for this -- way to write! Congratulations, just loved it. Blessings to you.
Congratulations on ranking 2 in your level and 32 overall! (The highest rankings can be found on the message boards)
Wonderful! Congratulations!