The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
You did a good job of building the personalities of each of the characters. The encounter you wrote about, is unfortunately all to common. Gave me food for thought.
Wow. The ending is superb, not to mention the body of this story. Kept me reading and wanting more.
This was a moving story with a prolific message. Thank you. God bless~
I love this story. You did a great job of introducing the conflict right away. The characters were well-developed and the dialog realistic.

I worry that some may struggle to see the topic in this piece and if it doesn't rank highly, I think that might be the reason. I can see that though Jesus is the key to a happy eternal life and a glorious eternal life, if we don't show Jesus in ourselves, we will miss the opportunity to unlock someone's heart to open it for Jesus to enter in.

I think you did a fine job on the other judging criteria. Your beginning shows the conflict and pulls the reader in, while your ending is realistic. It is sad, however, but life doesn't always have happy endings and I enjoy stories where the author resists the temptation to tie it into a neat bow. It's well-written and has a powerful message without being preachy. This is a strong piece for sure.